‘Shut up. So we left the pub and we were standing outside, sort of looking at each other in the sunset, and it was all intense and so I said, what’s going on and he said, I’m going to kiss you and—’

‘Ros,’ Lucy interrupted, looking down at my feet. ‘You do know your sandals don’t match?’

I looked down at my feet. One brown leather sandal, one leopard print.

Shit.

‘Do you want the story or not?’ I asked.

‘Not really,’ she admitted. ‘It’s giving me heartburn.’

‘Too much salt is bad for you,’ I said, seizing the opportunity to reach across her and nab the Discos back.

‘This is the most wonderful part,’ she sighed, a dreamy smile on her face and her legs up in the air. ‘When it’s all shagging and talking and more shagging and breaking for snacks and then more shagging. Have you even slept? Are you utterly delirious?’

‘I no longer need sleep,’ I replied. ‘I am as a god.’

Lucy smiled.

‘And when are you seeing Mr God again?’

‘Don’t know,’ I said as I chomped. ‘We just spent two days shagging and he did not appear to be utterly repulsed, that’s good enough for me. I’m not expecting a proposal until at least next week.’

Although that didn’t mean I hadn’t spent every second since I left his flat staring at my phone and willing him to text me. But that wasn’t Patrick’s style. He’d once told me he considered his phone an ‘interloper on his sanity’ and I’d automatically covered mine with my hands so Siri wouldn’t be offended.

‘Then it all sounds wonderful, very romantic,’ she said, folding her hands together on top of her belly. ‘I just want to make sure you’re going in with your eyes open.’

‘They’re wide open,’ I insisted. ‘They’re Clockwork-Orange-open. I know you’re worried about me but you don’t have to be, I promise you, I’m fine. We had this incredibly beautiful, honest conversation about what happened last time and then he went down on me until I thought I’d gone blind so I really think it’s going to work out this time.’

‘All right, that’s enough, that’s enough,’ she replied, slapping her hands over her ears. ‘I can’t take any more.’

‘The stars aligned,’ I declared, holding a completely round Disco up to the window in awe. ‘And so did our genitals.’

‘Hello, hello, how are we getting along in here?’

The door to the office opened and a rather large man in a rather brown suit let himself into the room. ‘Mrs Warren, is it? I’m Mr Appleton.’

Lucy raised a hand and gave a meek smile. ‘Is Dr Abara not here today?’