The wedding was perfect.

No one got lost on their way to the new venue, we managed to dress Jo on time and my nan hadn’t offended a single soul in the entire seventeen minutes she’d been in the room.

‘I can’t believe you forced me into such a toxic heteronormative gender role,’ Jo grumbled as we made our way down the makeshift aisle between two groups of chairs. We really should have been clearer about the dress code, I realized, as I spotted two of Dad’s friends in actual tuxedos, Aaron from the garden centre in his shorts and flip-flops and Mum’s friend from yoga, whose name I’d forgotten, in a fascinator so fascinating three rows of people behind her could see absolutely nothing.

‘I know, I’m such a bitch,’ I replied sweetly, nodding at Ruby and Bill from next-door-but-one. ‘I’m forcing you to be an agent of the patriarchy, you’re doing one nice thing to make Mum and Dad happy. It won’t kill you.’

‘It’s a system of oppression,’ she muttered while doling out doe-eyed smiles to Janet from the garden centre. ‘You know, in ancient times, if the bride didn’t go through with the wedding, one of the bridesmaids would be forced to marry the groom.’

‘I don’t think anyone here is going to make you marry your dad,’ I assured her. ‘Anyway, where’s Wilf?’

‘Eurgh, Wilf? Over,’ Jo pouted. ‘I’m in a throuple now. With a couple who are researching biomedical engineering at Magdalen.’

Winking at Dad in his new suit, we took our seats beside our nan in the front row.

‘That’s a terrible colour on both of you,’ she grumbled. ‘Washes you right out.’

‘Nice to see you too, Nan,’ I said, patting her hand, too happy to care. ‘Jo was just telling me she’s going out with a man and a woman at the same time. Why don’t you two talk about that for a bit?’

Sumi and Jemima and Adrian and Eva sat behind us, all glowing with happiness. It felt good, I thought, to see so many cheerful faces in one room. And also my sister and my nan. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d all been together, if ever.

A terrible instrumental version of Mum’s favourite Elton John song began pouring through the speakers and everyone turned at once.