By the time I’d fought my way off the stage and down to find my friends, John had disappeared, late for work at the bar, and there was an email in my inbox from Ted confirming that since Snazzlechuff Says was not going ahead, my services would no longer be required at the office. Those weren’t the exact words he’d used but I got the general gist. I’d been sacked. But this time, I wasn’t overwhelmed by shame. It wasn’t my fault. Or at least not entirely. And this time, I had my friends to support me, I would work it out somehow. We left the convention centre and went straight to the closest pub where I gave them a blow-by-blow recap of my Patrick predicament and proceeded to get very, very drunk.

Sacked, single and hungover. The perfect start to my parents’ special day.

‘Are you awake?’ I asked Lucy as I saw one eyelid flicker.

‘I’m thirty-seven weeks’ pregnant, I don’t sleep,’ she muttered. ‘I just close my eyes and hope that when I open them, the baby will have fallen out.’

‘God, it hasn’t, has it?’ I rubbed my hand against my face. ‘I felt something wet on my head?’

Lucy stared straight at me.

‘Are you asking if I got up, straddled your face, waited for my waters to break and then got back into this position, all without you noticing?’

I looked up at the ceiling and back down at my friend.

‘Yes.’

‘You got me,’ she grunted, closing her eyes again. ‘Was it a boy or a girl?’

‘You didn’t have to stay over, you know,’ I said, somehow managing to smile at the bodies crammed into my tiny space.

‘Please,’ Adrian grunted. ‘As if we were going to leave you alone.’

‘The first night is the most dangerous,’ Lucy added. ‘Sumi needed to be here to chop your hands off if you tried to change your mind and call him.’

I lay back on my bed and smiled happily. All my friends around me, all my friends (bar Lucy) hungover. Just like the good old days. Another drop of water landed on the top of my head. I looked up at the ceiling, which was moving too quickly, the room spinning around me.

‘What’s that sound?’ I asked, leaning over Lucy to move the curtain.

‘In England, we call that rain,’ Adrian replied from the floor. ‘Listen.’

‘I thought that sound was in my head,’ I groaned. It wasn’t just raining, it was torrential. Water was splitting the sky in two, it was practically coming down sideways.

‘At last,’ Sumi said in a muffled voice, still face down on the settee. ‘Maybe it won’t be so bloody hot today.’