‘Julian, this is my … friend, Ros,’ he said, gesturing at me by way of explanation. I raised a hand at the older man who was now standing by the front door, and gave him a charming wave. ‘Why don’t you wait inside, I’ll just be a moment.’

‘Of course, of course,’ Julian replied, never once taking his eyes off me as Patrick unlocked the front door. ‘Is she … well?’

‘I honestly don’t know,’ he answered. The older man paused on the doorstep for just a moment, taking in the whole scene, and then disappeared inside, shaking his head.

‘What are you doing, you absolute lunatic?’ Patrick asked, once the door was firmly closed.

‘Surprise?’ I offered, slowly raising my hands and attempting a smile.

He did not smile back.

‘Did you hit your head or have you gone mad?’

I crossed my legs where I sat, wondering if perhaps I had. That would be a relief.

‘That was my publisher,’ he went on. ‘He’s here to talk about my book but now all he’s going to be thinking about is the time he was attacked by a mad woman in a tiger mask. Is that the kind of thing you’d want people to think about when they thought of you?’

‘I thought it would be funny,’ I said quietly as he paced up and down the garden. ‘I see now that it was not.’

‘I don’t know what has got into you,’ Patrick yelled. He was very much not done. ‘Ever since we got back together, you’ve been acting strangely. I know you were gone for two years but you weren’t like this before. You didn’t behave like this last time.’

‘Three years,’ I said, cradling the tiger’s head in my lap.

Patrick’s pale face was beetroot red with rage.

‘What?’

‘I was gone for three years,’ I explained. ‘Not two.’

‘Three years, whatever,’ he huffed. ‘What the fuck were you thinking, hanging around outside my house in that ridiculous mask?’

‘It’s for the podcast,’ I began to explain but it hardly seemed relevant now. ‘You said you’d come to the recording this afternoon.’

‘That’s today?’ he asked. I nodded but said nothing. ‘Fuck. I forgot.’

‘You forgot?’ I repeated. Maybe I had hit my head.

‘This book is killing me,’ Patrick shrugged as though it was enough of a response. ‘Julian came over to see if we could work through a tough chapter. Sorry. I’ll come to the next one.’

‘Are you kidding me?’ I forced myself up to my feet so we were at least somewhere near face to face. ‘You’re going to let me down again? You know this is important to me.’