‘Yes,’ she lied, giving me an almost imperceptible look of disapproval. ‘Nice to see you, Patrick.’

‘It’s been a long time,’ he said genially, bending down to give her a kiss on the cheek. ‘Good to see you again.’

‘Is it though?’ she asked, smiling at the warning on my face. ‘I’m joking, I’m glad you came. On time.’

He cleared his throat and stuck his hands in his pockets. He had never really known how to deal with Sumi, she was the only person impervious to his charms, his intelligence and his never-ending supply of witty comebacks. Sumi was Patrick’s kryptonite.

‘You look beautiful.’ Patrick gave me a brief but tender kiss. ‘I missed you last night, what did you get up to?’

‘We went dancing,’ Sumi answered for me. ‘It was amazing, we had the most incredible time.’

‘I can’t believe you took my girlfriend out dancing and left me all alone at home to work,’ he said, wrapping his arm round my waist. Girlfriend, I registered, stunned. He called me his girlfriend.

‘You should have come with us,’ Sumi said, bundling Adrian and then John into hugs, a much warmer welcome than she’d reserved for Patrick. I caught John’s eye and then quickly looked away. ‘Dark Disco is amazing, isn’t it, John?’

‘You were there too?’ Patrick said, his tone light and breezy but the look he gave me was anything but. ‘Now I really do feel left out.’

‘If it makes you feel any better, I wasn’t invited,’ Adrian said as it became clear that John had no interest in joining in the conversation.

‘Yeah but you were too busy with your girlfriend,’ Sumi sang. ‘Where is she anyway? This mythical beast of a woman who’s infected you with such an incredibly virulent strain of feelings?’

‘Having a wee.’ Adrian blushed. ‘I think she’s nervous about meeting you all.’

‘Isn’t this the part where you’re supposed to say “Why would she be nervous?”’ Patrick asked me.

‘No,’ Sumi, John and I all said all at once.

‘I’ll talk to her, if you like,’ Patrick said, clapping Adrian on the back while Sumi made a very sour face, this time not even attempting to hide it. ‘Tell her none of you bite.’

‘At least he’s trying,’ Sumi said to me, loudly and very much in front of Patrick. ‘Excuse me, I think the caterer is trying to get my attention. Go, have fun, drink a juice, do not kill yourself.’

‘No one is trying to get your attention,’ Adrian shouted as Sumi bustled off through the doors to the kitchen with her middle finger up in the air. ‘So,’ he said brightly. ‘Where’s the booze?’

‘In the man cave,’ I told him, pointing at the smoky fug clouding up the windows of the cigar lounge. ‘Creepy Dave has whisky.’

His face fell to the floor. ‘Are you serious?’