Generally these fantasies require, in play at least, that one sees the partner as someone who is new and different. They are the same, of course, but they are to be seen as new and different. One must, in some fantasies, for example, look upon one’s wife as a stranger might look upon her, seeing her as a fresh, entirely different, unknown female, sexually desirable, little more, perhaps, at the moment, than an enticing, unexplored, provocative piece of ass. Sometimes this can be accomplished simply by looking at one’s wife as she really is. Have you ever really looked at your wife? Have you ever paid her that much attention? Does she, for example, have a blemish on the sole of her left foot? If you truly knew her body, you would know. Do you truly remember, for example, how the small hairs grow on the back of her neck? At any rate, try to see her as a sexually stimulated stranger would see her. She will then seem more like game to you. And she, in her own mind, will feel more like prey. Similarly the wife must look at the husband differently, freshly. She has probably never looked upon him as a sexual animal before. He is one. See him so. What do you feel, as the female animal, as the object of his desire? Look at him. He wants you. Will he catch you? What will he do with you if he does?

There are various imaginative techniques which may be employed in these matters. One is to alter names. Sometimes the change of a name is an aid to the change of a personality. It helps to assume a new identity. If a wife’s name is Jane, perhaps, in the context of a given game, she may be addressed as, and think of herself as, say, Linda or Marcia. Similarly, since Linda or Marcia are not Jane, they are someone else. Whom shall we invent her to be? Where was Linda born? What type of family does she come from? Where did she go to school? Did she go to college? If so, where? Did she get her degree? In what subject did she major? Was she a member of a sorority? If so, what sorority? Does she dress well? Is she sophisticated? Does she drink? If so, what is her favorite drink? Is she clever? Is she intelligent? How does she make her living? What are her attitudes on sex? Does she have secret dreams? If she does, these should probably be the secret dreams of Jane, but, if they should, horrifyingly, come true, they must happen not to Jane, but Linda. Linda, for example, to her horror, may find herself sold in a slave market.