And thank goodness I didn’t. Because the other good news is, it’s not just me now. There’s a little us growing inside me. Please don’t be annoyed but I never took that last pill. Though I honestly just forgot initially, with everything that went on. But then, after you’d gone, I wanted to see if part of you was meant to stay with me. And it was. It’s a girl. Eighteen weeks now. Angie I’m going to call her. But she won’t have the same fate. I promise. I won’t let her. I’ll do it right. I’ll make her right.

‘This must be my last bacon butty, Constance. Only healthy stuff now, so I get to be a granddad,’ says Edward all the time. Though it never is.

He can’t wait for Angie to arrive. He’s discovered online shopping, which is a disaster, as we have more stuff arriving constantly. A beautiful cot turned up unexpectedly this morning. And some toys. He loves me, you know. Edward. And Angie. I feel it, and it’s nice. I love him too. But my God, he’s a pain in the arse. I’ve told him he mustn’t spoil her.

I’ve sewn a new eye onto Blusha. So that’ll be her favourite toy. It’s not as good as it was before, but as fixed as it can be, and Angie won’t mind. She’s loveable even if a bit damaged.

You’ll never guess but I’ve become a book addict. Well, I needed something to replace the fags now I can’t smoke. That and biscuits. I’m reading Wuthering Heights again. Did you ever read it? I’m presuming not or you wouldn’t have described the card as ‘psycho’. Oh, and you really should have finished Great Expectations. It’s very good. What a shame.

I think I’ll write again. It makes me feel closer to you. Helps me keep you alive for Angie. But before I go . . . Hang on. Can you hear? I’m playing it for you. I play it all the time. And I’ll always play it for her, so she knows. Our song. ‘At Last’.

The moment we fell in love.

My beautiful Constance …

My beautiful Constance,

I’m so sorry to leave in this way. You’ve no idea how much it hurts to know that when I’m gone, I won’t be the one to make you feel better. My baby girl.

I fucked it all up, Constance. Everything. Apart from you. You were my one perfect thing.