‘Even though it may mean you losing Alice? When you admit to your history of abusive behaviour?’

I watch his face tighten. ‘I can’t lose Alice.’ He works his jaw back and forth. He shakes his head, as if to shake himself out of it.

‘See. Easy for you to say. Your words are empty.’

He says, ‘You know, Holly, when people change, they don’t change perfectly. They have setbacks. They still make mistakes. Throwing that rock was one. And watching you that night by the river.’

‘Some mistakes are bigger than others – some are too big to forgive.’

‘Yes. They are, though I wish that weren’t true.’

I am so close to asking him about Frederick Veliko and his own involvement in that, but I stop myself. Even now, I never want Zac to guess at the kind of help I’ve had, the kind of people I know, the kind of searches I did when we were together, and might still do. He has never imagined any of this about me. Not my failed attempt to join Maxine, and not my pale imitation of work for her at the edges as a lowly informant.

‘Oh, Holly,’ he starts to say, ‘you’ll never—’

There is the sound of a firm knock on the front door. ‘Zac.’ It is a male voice, loud and insistent, and very, very serious.

The two of us turn to the screen, but it has gone blank.

The voice comes again, preceded then followed by several more knocks. ‘It’s the police, Zac. We need to talk to you.’

Zac crosses to the screen quickly, taps in various codes, presses buttons, but the screen remains blank. They have somehow deactivated it.

‘We’ve run out of time.’ He smiles that sad smile again. ‘So little, after so long. There are a few things I wanted to give you, but I guess that will have to wait. At least I’ve been able to tell you I’m sorry. And that I still love you. There hasn’t been anybody like you for me.’

‘Thank God for that.’

‘Zac,’ the voice says again. ‘We need you to open the door.’

He nods slowly and walks out of the room. He climbs the criss-cross of stairs that go every which way, moving towards the front door. ‘Coming,’ he says.

‘Good man,’ the police officer says.

I am behind Zac, keeping enough distance between us to shoot out of his reach if he suddenly lurches at me.

He turns and catches my eye. ‘I’d rather you didn’t see this. No reason why you should give me that, but still . . .’