‘I was. And I should have gone straight to London from the hospital, but you made me come here first to look after you.’

‘I didn’t make you do anything, and I don’t need looking after.’

Another sad, disappointed shake of the head. ‘If you won’t trust me as your partner, trust me as a doctor. You aren’t looking well.’

This got to me. ‘Why? What’s wrong?’

‘Your face is pinched. You’re pale. If your body has to fight to keep you going, it’s going to be depleting resources for the baby. You need to be home. Not here.’ He put out a hand. ‘Please.’

I waited for several seconds. Still he held it out. It was too uncomfortable to leave it hanging there. I was too frightened that he was right. Was I hurting the baby? I needed to be careful to remember that not everything he said was without truth or reason. Slowly, I put my hand in his and allowed him to pull me up.

He led me to his car, to the front door, to the sitting room, to a chair, where he lifted my feet onto a low stool. All the time he looked as hurt as a man who’d found his lover in bed with someone else rather than simply sitting on a park bench, alone.

He put a cushion behind my back, then knelt at my feet and rested his ear on my bump. ‘I don’t think I’ll go to London after all.’

‘Good. I like it best when you’re here.’ I was wearing my radiating love and delight face, though every step I took with him at my side made me feel as though I were wearing invisible handcuffs.

Now
An Assault

Two years and one month later

Bath, Saturday, 6 April 2019

The day after my visit to Eliza and near-collision with Zac, I begin my morning by climbing back into bed with coffee and my laptop, still wearing the oversized T-shirt I slept in. It is easy to find Eliza’s house on the Land Registry website, where I buy copies of the Title Register and Title Plan. The first tells me the property was registered in Eliza’s sole name in late February, which isn’t surprising given that Zac always avoided doing anything financial in joint names. The second tells me more about the property’s boundaries and surroundings. It might, I think, be possible to get in – or out – through the parkland that touches one side of their garden – I remember Eliza drawing my attention to it.