faint or too left out to wait

see,

i waited my whole life for you

you

dizzying spun back

mouth lifted to the sun

to drink in the day

my feet ache

to follow you more

to

hold your hand like i was nothing

and

kind of everything from go again

see,

real love restarts a man

restarts a man’s heart and

soul

if he lets it

you

you are there waiting at the gate

where the flags wave

in the afternoon breeze

and

they are all lined up nose to nose

and

fresh-cut grass glimmers on each side

my feet ache

i am running so fast

to you

engine running

heart puttering

words stuttering

forward

into these miracles you call moments

where

our eyes meet and noses touch

and

i race a new day to the quick

for your hand

and

for your laughter

dizzying spun back

go ahead into your arms

go i

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 4

Future/Past

Future/Past

brace yourself

here is the ending

it starts with a bang

and descends

through a patch of

briarcloud and mash

pulp

hard lines driven

the center to circle side

of your face

so new each time

my mind erased

the last sketch—

and even in that

that darkness—a

new thing

a new thing happens

and we got lost

in the blast—we/us

in a future/past

FutureFucked

FutureFucked

outside the dreariness of a poor dream i go inside myself for

luck.

why,

well

a bee landed in my coffee and i guess i turned it on its head

i was afraid i might win

again

that ticket you reclaim nothing

you hand in your pride

like an i.d. you show

to get into a bar

i don’t go to bars

my body is a prison already

why drown it

so that it’s like i am hiding even further

even further in the back of the cell

behind the blanket

green and wool

and

futurefucked.

What a Bad Idea

What a Bad Idea

what a bad idea

that was

that i wanted to haunt myself

i did. period

that i wanted to even it up—?

i did. comma

see—

that was

me

on the pretend

me

on the typewriter

me

on me, all over me

me

using the worst i had

for more

what a bad idea

that was

that i wanted to shake myself

i did. shook

that i wanted to steal thunder—

i did. thunderstruck

see—

that was

me

on the way here

me

showing myself ghosts

me

inviting the bad stuff in

me

soaking up the floor with the fear

i collected

like i had a cold in my heart

this

is

sneezing

not

kinda

on the mend

i had to let it out

to get well

what a bad idea

that was

but i did

i did

i did

that was

me

Me and Joan of Arc

Me and Joan of Arc

me and

joan of arc