I wake up with a start, confused. My copy of The Marinist is no longer in my hand, and my head is on a chest. A strong, tanned, hard-as-rock chest, that somehow has just enough give and warmth to be comfortable. It smells like coconut sunscreen and a touch of man’s deodorant. Just as I’m nestling back into it to keep sleeping, I realise what I’m doing and bolt upright. I sit up straight into the edge of the hammock, and my head crashes into Pippa’s bum.

‘Oi!’ she shouts, scrambling upright, causing the hammock to swing erratically back and forth.

Hugh grumbles and opens his eyes. ‘What’s the matter?’ he asks, sleepily.

‘I fell asleep,’ I respond breathlessly. I scramble up and stand on the deck, grabbing the rails.

‘OK,’ says Hugh. He flops his forearm back over his eyes.

Pippa grunts and nestles back into the hammock to continue her nap.

I stare out at the horizon. I can’t believe I just fell asleep on his chest. I cannot keep fraternising with the enemy like this!

I am not this person. I am not someone who lets a hot guy get in the way of her goals. In the past, hot guy distractions have been Millie’s vibe. She’s bungled a test after a night out, she’s shown up late for a family dinner with a handsome random man in tow. But I have never let myself get that carried away, and I am not about to start now.

I promised myself I would take this time to think! Not get swept up in some dumb boat fantasy with someone I will never see again. I glance back at Hugh, who seems to have already fallen back to sleep. He makes it so easy for me to forget why I’m here. I could be going back over the photos I took; I could be interviewing Miguel or Vanessa about potential sightings. I could be reviewing Millie’s notes.

I am usually more in control than this. I am always planning. I am steady and reliable. I am the sister and the daughter who is always in the place she needs to be, even when I don’t want to.

Growing up, Millie was always the loudest and the most exciting. She had the most polarising opinions; she glowed the brightest in every room. She looked better in clothes. She was, and still is, habitually late, but the energy she brings into a room makes up for it every time.