The plane shakes some more, and I find myself promising to myself, and whatever universal power is keeping the plane in the air, that if we get on the ground safely, I will do Millie justice and take advantage of this opportunity.

I don’t want to keep wasting my twenties wondering when I’m going to be happy. I was happy in school when I was studying the movement of the ocean. I used to be excited to travel, thrilled to see new places, so elated to find out what was next. I loved feeling like I had choices. But then . . . I chose Zach and pretty soon it seemed like that was my last choice, suddenly my future was planned. Before I knew it, my friends were his friends, couples the same age as us, content to spend every Saturday at the same trendy brewery on the edge of town. Up next was a house in the suburbs and a baby named Theo.

Now that my future with Zach is gone I should feel happy but instead, I feel frozen, like now I have too many choices, and I don’t know if I’ll choose the right one.

As I settle back into my seat, fear washes over me. But now I’m not sure if it’s because I’m going halfway around the world all by myself to masquerade as my sister while she undergoes major surgery, or if I’m terrified because I know that by the time I come back, my life will never be the same.

Chapter 5

One day before the first dive

The flight to Dallas is short. I watch one movie, read a couple of chapters of my book, and try to temper my panic. When I’m standing in front of the boarding gate for Cairns, I text Millie and my parents that I’m about to board my flight. Once I’m in Australia, I won’t have service, and I’ll only be able to talk to them on Wi-Fi, which I won’t have on the boat. I try not to think about the fact that I’ll have no idea how Millie’s doing until I’m back on land.

‘You’re gonna be great,’ Millie texts back immediately. ‘You’ll find that butterfly wrasse. I know it!’

‘Hugh’s gonna be sorry,’ I respond. Instantly, I regret it. Hugh should be the last thing on my mind, especially considering I hadn’t talked to him in almost a week. I watch Millie’s three dots appear in our chat, realising that she might think it’s weird for me to bring Hugh back up. Thankfully, all Millie does is love the message and send back multiple muscle arm emojis which are code for ‘you got this’. I breathe out a sigh of relief.