‘Just let me know when you’ll be out.’ Matteo’s deep voice fills the silence. ‘Things slow down during the holidays, no need for you to sit here alone. Heck, even I’ll be gone!’ He laughs at his own joke. He gestures towards the sea of desks that are already starting to empty out in the post-Thanksgiving, pre-Christmas lull. ‘See?’

‘Right,’ I say, feeling panicked at the idea that everyone seems to think I need a vacation. How many times will I have to say, ‘I’m fine,’ before they believe me?

‘I’ll let you know when I’ll be out.’ I force a smile and Matteo claps his hands on the padded grey walls of my cubicle and walks away. Matteo is the one who hired me, and in the six years I’ve worked for Sunshine, our relationship has never progressed past colleagues. I know about his two daughters, and he knows I have a sister and live near my parents. He promotes me like clockwork every two years and gives me a 2 per cent raise every year. I never work more than forty-hour weeks and have a great work–life balance. But lately I’ve been feeling like I have no ‘life’ worth balancing. Especially now that after our friends sided with Zach in the breakup, I only have Murphy and Millie to keep me company. Sometimes I go running. Maybe I should learn how to knit. With a sigh, I pull up the company calendar.

I have fifteen days of holiday for the year. So far, I’ve only used three, all of them to go to weddings. I was supposed to take a trip to Italy with Zach, but after I asked him four times if we could spend one weekend planning it, and each weekend he ‘lost track of time’, and was ‘so sorry’, and ‘please can we plan it next weekend?’ I stopped trying to make that happen.

‘He doesn’t mean to let me down,’ I remember confessing to Millie in an attempt to minimise my disappointment. ‘Travelling just isn’t as important to him. He likes being home.’ She had simply nodded.

I force my attention back to the calendar. Sunshine Foods gives us the week of Christmas off, so if I’m going to use my holiday before year end, I basically have to start tomorrow.

Matteo means well, I remind myself, and time off should be a good thing. I can take Murphy for more walks. I can get some stuff done around the house. I can take my time wrapping Christmas presents. I almost cry at how boring my life feels.