When I stop talking, even the gulls are quiet, the ocean seems to be holding its breath. ‘This sounds stupid but it affected more of my life than I thought.’ I sigh. ‘I’m hoping this trip will give me some time to focus on myself. So I’m single but . . .’ I stop talking, leaving the rest of my thoughts left unsaid.

‘You’re focusing on yourself,’ Hugh supplies, his voice even. His eyes are still glued to his tea.

‘Trying to,’ I say in a small voice.

Hugh stills. I glance over at him, but his face remains impassive. Suddenly I’m extremely aware of my body. My breathing slows, but my heartbeat pulses at my temples. His leg is so close to mine that if we were to get jostled our limbs would touch. I spot a big wave in the distance, and feel a thrill dance up my spine. Neither Hugh nor I say anything as it approaches. We are both completely still. The wave is almost underneath the boat. I am so focused on the possibility of our limbs tangling together that I am holding my breath.

‘Morning!’ Andrew calls out, plopping down beside us right as we crest over the wave. We all jostle into each other, and any tension between me and Hugh dissipates.

Andrew launches into a barrage of questions, wondering how we slept, if we had breakfast yet, if there was more coffee. Watching Hugh respond with complete normalcy, as if Andrew hadn’t just interrupted a moment, is all I need to convince myself that letting that conversation continue would have been a bad idea. I wish Hugh wasn’t on this stupid boat. I know why he is though – if Millie knows this is the best dive trip a marine biologist’s salary can buy, then Hugh knows it too. I remind myself that I can’t keep letting Hugh distract me just because he keeps me on my toes and appears in my dreams. Nothing can get in the way of me finding this wrasse.

We have three dives today, three more tomorrow, and one more after Fitzroy Island. Plenty of chances.

‘How’d you guys sleep?’ Pippa asks, poking her head above board. Soon, Natalie and Derek follow. I overhear Pippa comment on how nice Natalie’s skin looks (she’s right, it’s glowing) and Natalie responds with something that makes Pippa laugh. I’m wondering if I should bring my coffee over to them, if maybe I’m being too cautious about Natalie remembering my name is really Andi, but my anxiety keeps me rooted in my seat.

Luckily, Vanessa and Miguel dive straight into work, saving me from my indecision. They ready equipment for our morning dive and remind us we should eat something before we go.

‘But you’re not supposed to swim right after you eat,’ says Derek, with a genuine look of confusion on his face.