My heart beats faster and my chest starts to ache. ‘Yes,’ I reply, forcing myself to keep my resolve. ‘I think it would be best to be with someone who’s not opposed to me achieving my goals.’

Hugh opens and closes his mouth. Finally, he says, ‘If that’s what you think is best . . .’

‘I do.’

‘OK.’

‘OK.’ I walk away. Take that, Hugh Harris, I think. I try to set my shoulders defiantly, but part of me feels like I just made a mistake.

We were a well-oiled machine yesterday, but swapping partners has taken a toll on our rhythm. I’m usually seated between Hugh and Andrew, and this time I have to get up and switch with Andrew, which proves harder than I expected because I’m already strapped into my air tank, which is extremely heavy. Miguel barely catches me in time when I lose my balance, and I fall into his chest.

‘Oof,’ he grunts, as he regains his footing and helps lower me down to the bench. Since I’ve been Hugh’s partner, I haven’t seen much of Miguel, but he’s all smiles this morning, excited for the warmer water.

After my slip he’s attentive to me and Pippa, chatting with us about our trip so far, wondering what we’re most excited to tell our families. Pippa’s enthusiastic and charming, as usual, but I’m having trouble focusing. I’m ready to be in the water, where it’s quiet.

When Miguel gets up, Pippa does a cursory buddy check and is nowhere near as thorough as Hugh. I glance down the bench towards him, wondering if he’s missing me too, but he’s deep in conversation with Andrew. I perform a quick buddy check on Pippa and we both jump into the water. I’m starting to feel less clumsy as I enter. I make a mental note to ask Miguel to teach me the head-first entrance next time we dive. I feel calmer as soon as we’re bobbing on the surface. Derek is bringing along his camera but I hardly care, I’m just anxious to go.

We’re back to descending on mooring lines, hand over hand, slowly making our way to the bottom of the ocean. The water shimmers in the morning light. I relish the familiar woosh in my ears. I’m stuck behind Hugh, who is stuck behind Andrew and moving excruciatingly slowly, and my hand keeps bumping into his. He looks at me and for a moment I think I can see hurt on his face through his mask. You should be sad, I think. I hope Hugh regrets keeping me in the dark about his paper. Our bodies shift as a swell of a wave passes over us. I turn away from Hugh. As much as I want him to be sad, I don’t want to have to witness it.