‘I’m worried,’ he said at last once our giggles had died down. ‘I’m worried that I’ll never find the one. I thought it was her, but I was so wrong. I don’t know how I’ll trust my judgement again. Now I feel like I’ll have to start dating and everyone I date will remind me that my last relationship, no matter how it ended, was the best I’ll ever have. Like that was all the happiness I’ll ever deserve.’

‘I don’t think that’s true.’ I shift to face him. ‘But I feel the exact same way.’ It was the first time I had ever heard someone describe my own fears so articulately. ‘Like the universe gave me something good and just because it didn’t work out doesn’t mean I’m entitled to anything better.’

‘Exactly. And even if I get past that, I don’t know how I’ll trust people again.’

‘You can trust me,’ I say, before thinking about the statement I just made. If I want Hugh to trust me, I need to tell him the truth tonight. It might already be too late. I need to tell him the truth now.

Lying on our sides, Hugh and I stare at each other. Tenderly, he caresses my cheek with his thumb.

‘I wish you didn’t live so far away,’ he whispers, so softly that I almost don’t hear him.

‘Me too,’ I whisper back, my voice cracking. ‘Look,’ I say, ‘I haven’t been . . .’ the words I haven’t been honest with you are on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t bring myself to say them. I can’t risk jeopardising Millie’s one chance at these fish just because I have a crush on some guy (who she happens to hate). I would be giving Hugh so much ammo to take Millie down professionally – it’s definitely a career-ending move to send your little sister on a work trip without telling your boss. Especially when said sister doesn’t have the proper credentials.

I untangle myself from Hugh’s arms. ‘I’ve just had a lot going on lately,’ I say finally. ‘I’m worried I’m losing my ability to focus on the reason I’m here.’

‘I’m not helping you focus?’ He pulls a face and I crack a smile.

‘Not really.’

‘I like that about you,’ he says after a beat. ‘Your ambition.’

‘Yeah,’ I mumble. ‘I don’t actually have too much of that.’

‘You know you don’t give yourself enough credit. You’re all the way out here looking for it, for starters. And, you’re not on a research vessel, you’re spending your own money to do it.’

I shrug.