Together we ran the rest of the way, past a new parking circle, by the garden that I’d planted, to the back entrance that led into the house, to Oswald, who would have been my husband now if I hadn’t tried to please others instead of following my own wants and needs and instincts and heart.

I wouldn’t make that mistake again.

ten

Is That a Stake in Your Pocket, or
Are You Just Happy to See Me?

I called, “Oswald! Oswald!” as I went through the mudroom and into the bright, big kitchen.

Then I saw him.

Oswald was sitting at the long trestle table, holding open a copy of the Journal of the American Medical Association, with a coffee mug in front of him. It was Saturday and he was dressed in a T-shirt that said You! Out of the Gene Pool and old jeans.

He had been everything to me and seeing him here in this place broke my heart all over again. How could I have ever given him up?

He looked up at me with his clear eyes, as gray as river stones, and the color drained from his already pale face.

We stared at each other for long seconds. Finally he stood and said, “What are you doing here? You’ve got to leave.”

“I need to talk to you.”

“Sorry, but I can’t deal with your histrionics today. Or ever again.”

Oswald took my elbow and began leading me out of the kitchen. His herb-scented sunblock brought back so many memories of us together.

“Let me explain,” I said.

“I see that you’ve finally decided to slim down, but there are healthier ways to do it than starving yourself.”

“But everything’s gone horribly wrong.”

He grabbed a baseball hat as we went through the mudroom. “I can’t do this, Milagro. It’s too hard, and everyone knows you’re with goddamn Ian Ducharme now, so you can go to him for whatever you want—unless you’ve gotten bored with him, too, and moved on to ruin some other man’s life.”

“Yes,” I said, and that surprised Oswald. We stopped where we were, by my garden. “Yes, I destroyed a man’s life in the very worst way and people are after me, including the Council, I think.”

“Not likely. The Council has realized that you are their juggernaut.” He let go of my elbow and then said more quietly, “Do you have any idea how miserable it makes me when I see you watching me from that café?”

“I wanted to see you.”

“Why? Because it just rips open the wound again.”

“I miss you, Oswald.” I touched his cheek and felt the old pleasurable zizz from him. “We loved each other. We were happy. How can I pretend that never existed?”

“The same way you pretended when we were engaged and you cheated on me.”

Now I was stunned. “Who told you?”