Cover

Marta Acosta

IS
“HILARIOUS.”
—NATIONAL EXAMINER

“WICKEDLY SNARKY.”
—EL PASO TIMES

“CLEVER AND AMUSING.”
—SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE

Praise for the work of this award-winning author

“Ultra-hip and very now.…”

—BookPage

“The characters pop off the page and the dialogue crackles with good lines.”

—Orlando Sentinel (FL)

“An addictive combo plate of romance and vamp satire.”

—Publishers Weekly

“Stephanie Plum meets Sex and the City in this stylish, hilarious novel.”

—Jennifer Cox, author of Around the World in 80 Dates

“Quirky, surprising, and cinematic.”

—Star Democrat (Baltimore)

“Intelligence and fabulosity mixed into a delicious cocktail.”

—Marcela Landres, Latinidad

“An elegant vampire tale.”

—Oakland Tribune (CA)

Haunted Honeymoon is also available as an eBook

Also by Marta Acosta

Happy Hour at Casa Dracula

Midnight Brunch at Casa Dracula

The Bride of Casa Dracula

As Grace Coopersmith

Nancy’s Theory of Style

Title Page

Copyright Page

Gallery Books A Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc. 1230 Avenue of the Americas New York, NY 10020 www.SimonandSchuster.com

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2010 by Marta Acosta

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Gallery Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020

First Gallery Books trade paperback edition October 2010

GALLERY BOOKS and colophon are trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949 or [email protected]

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Manufactured in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available

ISBN 978-1-4165-9887-9
ISBN 978-1-4391-1580-0 (ebook)

Dedication

To my brother

Marlo

with love and affection

Haunted
Honeymoon

Prologue

The next time a sex toy sales consultant offered to teach me how to unlock handcuffs with a paper clip, I would accept.

Alas, hindsight is easy when one has both wrists cuffed to a metal chair bolted to a cement floor. But, necessity being the wacky aunt of improvisation, I could surely figure it out. Perhaps there was a paper clip in the desk.

A cat, one of dozens of identical striped cats here, gazed at me from atop a console across the room.

I said, “We’re both screwed, aren’t we, gato?”