Back Haunted Honeymoon Save as PDF
Chapters (26)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright Page
  4. Dedication
  5. Prologue
  6. oneLove to Blood You, Baby
  7. twoGood Help Is Fine to Bite
  8. threeOnce Bitten, Twice Snide
  9. fourAn American, a Broad
  10. fiveMy Fair Vampire
  11. sixBite Me, Spank Me,Make Me Bite Your Neck
  12. sevenBlood the One You’re With
  13. eightLove Lies Bleeding
  14. nineDance with the She-Devil
  15. tenIs That a Stake in Your Pocket, orAre You Just Happy to See Me?
  16. elevenCountrycide
  17. twelveHeadshrinkers, Blood Drinkers,Mental Blinkers
  18. thirteenOnce Bitten, Twice Snide
  19. fourteenYou’re No Body Until SomebodyBloods You
  20. fifteenShrinks, Kinks, and Drinks
  21. sixteenZombies and Vamps, Oh, Please
  22. seventeenThis Is Your Brain Unplugged
  23. eighteenDead Reckoning
  24. nineteenFly Me to the Loon
  25. twentyGet Me to the Club on Time
  26. Back Cover

Her blood soaked through it, as bright red as an Iceland poppy. I was terrified that the magic had been used up, but suddenly the blood stopped spreading on the fabric. Then it seemed to be absorbed back into the cloth as the scent of spring grasses and flowers filled the air.

The Grant family’s security guards barged into the room, and I was glad to see them because they were able to divert the cops, who arrived a few minutes later.

eighteen

Dead Reckoning

AG remained at the rented house, and the rest of us returned to Casa Dracula. The guards drove Matthews, Wilcox, and Nettie. I took my truckasaurus and was the first one through the gate.

I remembered why I’d come to hide out at the ranch, desperately wishing that I could turn back the clock to the time before I had blood on my hands.

The day was dawning, as it had been then. The dogs bounded forth to greet me, as they had then. I remembered my new dog, Rosemary, now, and deadlines and bills and all the big and little things that I’d been able to ignore as an amnesiac. I remembered why Oswald and I had broken up.

And I remembered what had happened to me when I was at the military contractor’s compound.

I parked the truckasaurus and went into the house through the back door. Gabriel’s guards must have called the Grants, because everyone was in the kitchen waiting.

“Babe,” Oswald said, but I walked right past him into Edna’s arms.

“The bitch is back, Edna,” I told her.

“I’ve been expecting you, Young Lady,” she said, and kissed my cheek. Then I gazed around the room. Oswald stood looking dignified, while his accomplice in the horizontal hokey-pokey was wide-eyed and nervous.

That’s when Wil came in, struggling as he carried Nettie’s shrouded body. Matthews stayed outside with the guards.

I said to Wil, “Take her to the living room. Once I leave, she can have the maid’s room. She’ll be able to smell the flowers coming in on the breeze.”

Things quickly became chaotic. Everyone was asking questions about the green-tinged man and the body. I told them about Wil’s murder and reanimation, and how Matthews had accidentally killed Nettie and the magic of the gift from Don Pedro.

“That’s impossible,” Oswald said.

“I’m sure there’s a rational scientific explanation, but I’d rather think it’s magic,” I said. “Oswald, I’d like Nettie to stay here until she recovers. Lily, if you decide to extend your vacation here, I think you can help her cope with the transition.”

“But you still have underlying emotional problems,” Lily said.

“I’ve got important business to take care of now. I’ll deal with my personal life later.”