“You did just now.” He closed his eyes as if he couldn’t bear to look at me, and when he opened them, I saw his grief.

I thought I couldn’t feel any worse, but now I wished that the earth would open up and swallow me.

“Oswald, I needed to find out if I could let someone cut me without reacting and hurting him, and then I would be able to let you do it because I wanted you to be happy.”

“Someone? You mean Ian. Before, during, and after me, it’s always been goddamn Ian Ducharme.”

“Please don’t hate me, Oswald. I couldn’t bear it if you hated me,” I said, tears blurring my vision of him. “You’re the best man I’ve ever known. I was wrong, so wrong, and if I could do it all over again …”

“But we can’t turn back the clock, Milagro.” He shook his head and said, “My parents told me that rumor about you and Ian and I said they were wrong, that you would never do that because you loved me, and I loved you. I want you to leave now.”

“Oswald, I care for you more than you can know, but I needed to come here because no matter what’s happened, I know that your goodness will always prevail.” I wiped at my tears. “I’ll show you why I had to come. Let me show you what they’ve done.” I ran around the house in my stupid pointy ankle boots, down the lane, to the truck.

He came slowly after me.

I reached over to unlatch the truck’s gate and that’s when I saw the bare space between the gardening tools. Wil’s body was gone.

“He was here. I swear, he was here!”

“What are you playing at, or have you finally found a drug that has an effect on you?”

“I’m not making this up.” I jumped into the bed of the truck and began flinging out the tools even though it was clear that the body was gone. As I turned around in confusion, I saw something off to the left.

There among the grapevines was Wil with the shroud over his head like an Old Testament prophet. He raised his arm and pointed at me and his mouth gaped open. Even though no sound came out of the black hole in his green-tinged face, I knew he was saying, “J’accuse!”

I took two steps backward in shock. The first step was onto the truck’s gate. The second step sent me off the edge.

My reactions were fast and I could have regained my balance if I had tried. But the enormity of all my guilty deeds consumed me: leading Wil to his death, killing Average Joe, cheating on Oswald, not doing anything to save the Poindexters, and cheating on Oswald with goddamn Ian Ducharme …