“I told her it was too much, and she just laughed,” he said, looking at me. “I told her that he was in love with you, but she thought she could have him. She wanted him because … Oh, God, she’s my world.”

“Ford, did you …”

“I didn’t! I didn’t kill her. I didn’t mean to do anything. She asked me to help, to do it with her, and the knife slipped and the blood spurted out.” He let out a cry and stood up suddenly. Too suddenly.

Ford slipped on the pool of blood and fell. His head crashed against the stone of the kitchen island with a horrible thud. I caught him before he hit the floor.

“Ford!” I said, but his eyes were rolling up in his head and he took only one more shuddering breath. Oswald had taught me CPR, so I set Ford down on the floor and frantically tried to revive him.

Even though his heart had stopped and blood was spilling from his head, I continued to pump his chest and breathe into his mouth, thinking, Please, Ford, breathe!

I was still trying to save him when I heard cars out front. The men in black gear pried me off Ford’s body and I started screaming, “Ford, breathe, breathe!”

I stood shaking, covered with blood. I hadn’t personally killed Wil, Cricket, and Ford, but they were still dead because of what I did and did not do. My sins were both of omission and commission.

The men in black handcuffed me and yanked me roughly outside. They put a hood over my head and threw me in the back of a black van. Ford’s blood had seeped through my sweatshirt, and I was revolted by my loathesome craving.

The men didn’t speak, and I bounced around the back of the van as they sped down the hillside. I expected that we would stop at the police station or sheriff’s, but they drove many miles and I realized that they hadn’t shown badges or identified themselves.

The hum of traffic diminished, and then all I could hear was the van’s engine. The vehicle stopped, there was a metal rattling sound, like a large gate, and the van drove slowly and stopped.

The van’s door clacked open and I was yanked out. I stumbled, but regained my balance when a hand shoved my back. I walked forward and heard the ding of an elevator. Someone bashed me forward.

We rode up a few floors before the elevator dinged again. The men pushed me forward and jabbed me until I hit a wall. I heard a door click shut behind me. There was a screech of metal on metal as something was moved behind my legs.

“Sit down,” a man said.