Maybe that was where I’d sharpened my own mask. Maybe it was just the nature of Brock’s circle or the circle of the wealthy. But I longed for something genuine, longed for it in a way I never had before. Not until I’d lost the man I thought I wanted, not realizing how wrong I’d been about what was and wasn’t good for me.

I caught a glimpse of it then, a whole other life, like the fluttering of a curtain behind which another world existed. One where my smiles were effortless, where there was no pretense. Only the simple honesty of connection.

It was alien, that world.

It was a dream, that world.

And then the curtain stilled, shutting off the vision, leaving me only with myself and the ghostly glimmer of what I’d seen.

Ivy hooked her arm in mine. “I’m gonna use so much garlic salt, no one will come within five feet of me for a week.”

With a laugh, I leaned into her, waving at Tess, then Kash, all dark hair and uncomplicated smiles. And I smiled back, that glimmer flickering again like a shard of glass in the sun.

Ivy tugged me toward the front, chattering about pizza with enough gusto that by the time we reached the door to the shop, my stomach growled like a wild animal. I pressed a hand to it, chuckling.

“God, don’t you eat?” she said, pulling her coat as tight as she could around her belly. The seams didn’t come close to touching.

“Of course I eat.”

“It’s just that you’re so skinny.”

“You just say that because you’re so not skinny.”

“Hey!” She pinched my arm, eliciting a yelp. “That’s two fat jokes in five minutes. Not cool.”

“Well, you skinny shamed me, so we’re even.”

She rolled her eyes.

“By the way, I forgot to thank you for telling Kash all my business. What the hell, Ivy?”

She flushed, lips set. “Well, I was trying to explain to Tess, and she kept defending Brock for not giving you orgasms. I needed a tiebreaker, and Kash always gives the best advice.”

I skidded to a halt, pulling her backward with an oof. “You told him about the orgasms?”

“Well, yeah. Isn’t that what he said?”

“You think Kash talked to me about orgasms in the greenhouse? Jesus, Ivy! He told me he was sorry about Brock!”

“Oh. Well … I mean, I’m not sorry.”

My mouth popped open, brows stitched together. “You bitch.”

“What? I’m not,” she said smartly, folding her arms. “He agreed that zero missed orgasms was the gold standard for men who aren’t assholes.”

I groaned, pressing my hands to my face for one brief moment of privacy. “I cannot believe you.”

“Really?” she challenged.

Another groan. My hands dropped to my sides, and I straightened up, not taking her traitor arm again. She could waddle on her own.

“Oh, come on, Lila.”

I kept walking, knowing she couldn’t keep up.