“And that doesn’t need to happen at her age,” Pops says. I turn and stare down at his shoes. He’s wearing a pair of Jordans that look like they’re from the eighties. I would’ve stolen them this morning, if I had known where they were, and shoved newspapers in them so they’d fit me. It’s not fair that he has a cooler wardrobe than me. “She’s way too young.”

“But hypothetically,” I butt in, “what if we didn’t have the PrEP stuff?”

“Well, first of all, it’s less likely for a cis woman to transmit HIV to a cis man.” Dr. Khan turns back to me. “But even then, there was a study where researchers found no evidence that partners without HIV became infected after having condom-less sex with an HIV-positive partner when their viral load was undetectable. And this was over the course of sixteen months with 900 couples—a total of 60,000 sexual acts.”

My chest feels a little lighter. It was just one study, okay, but if these couples had sex 60,000 times without anything happening to any of them, that has to mean something. If Dr. Khan was confident enough to say it out loud, it means that she believes it.

“There’s still a small risk,” Dad says, like he’s reading my thoughts. “You have to keep that in mind when you’re about to have sex with someone.”

“But there’s always a risk if you’re having sex with someone,” I fire back. He raises a brow, and I almost regret snapping at him. Almost. “I could get herpes or crabs or the clap or something, even if I trust the other person.”

“And, quite honestly, there shouldn’t be a problem if your viral load is undetectable,” Dr. Khan adds. “Which it is.”

I feel like there’s some sort of unspoken girl code going on here, just like when she convinced my dad to take me to a gynecologist.

“But you should still disclose,” Dad says. “And be honest with your partner.”

Right. After getting to undetectable status, that’s the other part that makes the sex thing so hard. I bite my lip.

“Simone,” Dr. Khan says, placing a hand over mine. “You know I’m always available to talk. You can call whenever you want.”

“I know,” I say, giving her a small smile. “Thank you.”

Even though I didn’t want to bring it up, at least I got what I needed—an undetectable viral load—and it wasn’t so bad. It looks like Dr. Khan’s got my back.

CHAPTER 14