There’s a sharp intake of breath. I open my eyes to see Lydia’s lip trembling. Claudia’s face is pale.

“You guys don’t want me to hang out with him,” I say, wrapping my arms around my stomach. The words come out faster and faster, stumbling over each other. “It has to be you. You’re the only ones who could’ve done it, and no one else cares that I’m dating him. You’re the ones screaming at me like I tried to kill one of you and calling me a liar who begs for attention and—”

“I can’t fucking believe this.” Claudia shakes her head, stunned. “We’re your best friends, Simone. Why would we do that?”

“I don’t know,” I say, holding my hands over my eyes. I don’t want to look at them. I don’t even want to be in this car. “You aren’t telling me the truth anymore. You’re keeping things from me. You’ve been talking about me behind my back.”

“We wouldn’t do that,” Lydia says, shaking her head frantically. “Simone, I swear—”

Claudia is crying now, but I can’t look at her. I push myself out of the car and stumble to the closest bench. Only then do I stop fighting the aching in my throat. I pull my legs to my chest and cry into my arms.

CHAPTER 27

The week of Thanksgiving passes by in a blur. I move on autopilot, sitting through classes and turning in homework and staying after for rehearsal. Miles gives me rides in the morning and drops me home after school. If Dad’s home, he invites Miles in, plying him with snacks and asking questions about school or lacrosse. When Pops asks where Claudia and Lydia are, I don’t know what to tell him.

I’m so used to pulling out my phone and texting them. Everything feels different now that I can’t, like frayed electrical cords have cut me off from the rest of the world. I still have my phone and the internet, but without my friends, those things don’t really matter. Thinking about Claudia and Lydia stings almost as badly as my thoughts of Sarah do. Every time I get a text from one of them, it hurts to ignore it.

Thanksgiving isn’t even enough to make me feel better. I usually love having so many people around. We only have one guest room (thanks a lot, crazy San Francisco housing prices), and the house gets so full that I’m sure it’ll burst.