“I know this all seems simple to you, but I’ve lost patients because they stopped taking their medication,” Dr. Khan says, fixing me with a hard stare. “There are so many reasons why—denial, depression, sometimes plain rebellion. If you’re able to keep those things in check, you’ll have a normal life expectancy. Your life doesn’t have to be any different from that of someone with a chronic disease like asthma or diabetes.”

Maybe I don’t mind this part so much. I like to be reminded that I’m not so different. Everyone talks about HIV like it’s the plague, but I’m pretty sure that measles outbreak at Disneyland was worse than anything I’ve experienced.

But I’m undetectable now. That means I have to ask—even if it’ll make things extremely awkward. I shift on the table, trying to get comfortable.

“So,” I say, swallowing. “Um, I have an undetectable viral load, which means, hypothetically, I could have sex without transmitting HIV. Right?”

I can feel my parents staring a hole through my back. I bite my lip.

“Right, although we recommend waiting six months,” Dr. Khan says. “Speaking of which, did you see Dr. Walker, like I recommended? How did you feel? Did she answer all your questions?”

“Sort of,” I say. “She mentioned that there’s, like, this medication negative people can take when they’re exposed to HIV.”

“We call it PrEP,” Dr. Khan says, voice gentle. “It’s a pill the HIV-negative partner would take every day, that lowers the chances of them contracting the virus.”

It doesn’t feel fair to ask Miles to start taking pills before we have sex. Lydia started taking birth control because she’s dating Ian, but it doesn’t seem like the same thing. Ian never asked her to do it. And even if she hadn’t, they could probably go on and have sex. What would Miles be comfortable with? I have no idea.

“That sounds cool,” I say, licking my lips. “But what if someone doesn’t want to take medication, like, a month before having sex? What if it’s more spontaneous than that?”

“That won’t be happening,” Pops says. Dad makes a noise of agreement.

I sigh. It would probably be better if they weren’t here, but we’ve always done this together. It’s just grown to be more painful.

“I understand your concern, Mr. Hampton, Dr. Garcia,” Dr. Khan says, ever the diplomat. “But, with all due respect, Simone’s questions are natural. And it’ll be quite beneficial to both her and her future partners if she’s prepared before entering a situation where sex could be involved.”