We lapse into silence. I’ve known Claudia and Lydia since the beginning of the school year, and we’ve never had a silence this awkward. They didn’t react badly, I guess, but this still feels painful.

“Well,” I say, clearing my throat. “I guess now’s the time to tell you about the letter.”

They share a confused glance.

“Someone left a letter in my locker.” I tap my fingers against my knees. “They said they would tell everyone I have HIV if I don’t stop hanging out with Miles.”

“What the fuck?” Claudia’s voice is blunt. “They don’t control who you can and cannot talk to. Fuck them.”

“You don’t get it, Claudia,” I say. “You don’t know what it would be like if they decided to tell.”

I can’t think about what happened at my old school. I don’t want to think about the news spreading on Facebook, moms complaining about their daughters sharing bathrooms and cafeterias with me. When I think back, what I remember most is how completely unprepared I was for everyone to turn on me. I feel unprepared now, at a different school two hours away.

“We should tell someone,” Lydia says, glancing between us. “Maybe a teacher. They can help, right?”

I grimace.

“Look.” Claudia claps her hands together. “I don’t give a shit who this person is. They could be the president for all I care, all right? They don’t get to control your decisions. And if you don’t wanna tell a teacher, I think you should just ignore them.”

“I can’t just ignore them,” I say. “Not if they’re following me around.”

“So why don’t you tell the principal?” Lydia asks. “This is the sort of stuff she’s there for.”

“No,” I sigh, running a hand over my face. “If I tell the principal, I’ll have to tell her that I’m positive and then tell the entire backstory. For all I know, the principal could be freaked out about HIV, too. I’m not taking that chance unless I absolutely have to.”

Lydia shakes her head.

“If you don’t want to tell any adults, I’m not sure what to do.” She chews at her thumb. “I wish I did.”

“I can track the kid down and kill them, if you want,” Claudia offers. “It wouldn’t be a problem.”

“No, you can’t kill anyone.” I lean against my chair, exhausted by the entire situation. “I’m just worried about everyone finding out, especially Miles. I know I’ll have to tell him. I’m just afraid.”

“Of what?” Lydia asks, cocking her head. “That he won’t want to hang out with you?”

“Yeah, that.” I bite my lip, staring at the table. “And that he won’t want to have sex with me.”

My eyes dart up to see Claudia and Lydia sharing a glance.