“That’s because it isn’t.” I pull at the edges of the gown before drawing back the curtain and wagging a finger at him. “Sex is never funny, especially when you’re me.”

His face softens. “Simone—”

“Ah, the famous Simone!” A tall white lady with bright red hair and a lab coat swings into the room. “I’ve heard so much about you from your father. The last time I saw you, you were barely big enough to stand!”

Dr. Walker knows me, but I don’t remember her at all. I give a tight smile. Somehow, I doubt she’s the great family friend she presents herself to be. I guess it doesn’t matter. It’s not like I’m looking to be her best friend. I just need her to answer my questions.

“So, Simone,” she says, folding her hands. “The reason why Dr. Khan referred you is because I’ve had other patients with your condition, and I have experience in this field. I want you to know that you can ask me any questions you might have, and I’ll try my hardest to answer.”

Damn. She gets straight to the point.

“Let’s say I want to have sex.” I try to mirror her stance on the exam table, placing one leg over the other. My paper gown crinkles as it moves. “Are condoms enough? Do I have to use them if I’m having sex with a girl?”

“Well, there are internal condoms and dental dams if you have sex with someone with a vagina,” she says, leaning back on the stool. I have to give her credit; she doesn’t seem fazed at all. “But you have to keep in mind that the virus is acquired through an exchange of certain bodily fluids, like blood or semen.”

“Wait a minute,” Dad says. “Simone, you know that the best way to stay safe is by remaining abstinent. We’ve spoken about this, honey.”

My cheeks heat up. It’s another reason why I didn’t want him here—I should be able to ask my questions and get answers without a filter. The worst part is that I know he’s right: abstinence is the only way to be absolutely sure of preventing HIV acquisition. I’ve had that pounded into my brain ever since I turned thirteen. By now, it’s like a reflex.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t want sex. Lately, it keeps creeping into the back of my mind. I’m not sitting around, looking for people to have sex with, but I want it. I want to look at someone and love them the way other people are able to.

I’d like to know more.