The people next to me laugh half-heartedly, so I do the same. I think Alicia turned eighteen when I was thirteen or maybe fourteen, but I never thought I’d see her again. I figure most people graduate and decide to do something cool, not keep coming back to Group.

“Hi,” Alicia says, waving. Now that I really look at her, she does seem older. There are bags under her eyes, lines where there weren’t always. Somehow, she still looks happy. “I can’t believe there are so many familiar faces here—and so many new ones!”

I’m pretty sure she’s talking about Jack and Brie. They’re the ones I see most around here, probably forced to come every week like me. It’s hard to be negative around Jack, who flashes dimples and pearly white teeth when he smiles, so I tend not to look at him. Brie, on the other hand, always slumps in her chair. I think her bangs are so long because she uses them to hide. I know random facts about them—Brie is on some sort of dance team and Jack golfs like an old man—but we’re not friends.

“I guess I’ll just tell you guys a little bit about myself,” Alicia says, tucking a twist of hair behind her ear. “Uh, I’m in my early twenties. My husband and I welcomed our son last year, and he’s the cutest baby in the world. I’m also in the process of getting my master’s degree in education.”

There’s some lukewarm applause from the group, but my hands sting from how loudly I clap. Maybe it sounds horrible, but I don’t expect much from the kids who come to this support group. I’ve never seen any of them after they leave, so I don’t know if they live or die or do anything else. But I know that Alicia has been living. What’s even more interesting is the fact that she has a husband—and a baby.

My parents haven’t actually sat down and told me that those things will never happen for me. It’s just something I’ve figured out on my own. I wonder if I could ask Alicia what it’s like, to know that someone wants to be with her enough that they don’t care about the virus. It seems creepy to ask, but I still wonder.

I don’t know who would want to date me after they found out. I guess it would be easier to date someone else who’s positive, but it’s not like I’m going to find one of them here.