I turn away from him and wipe down the bar, the motions familiar. I thought this job and this place were my fate.

This wasn’t my dream. But I was willing to stick it out for him. How the hell did he just flip the script?

If Fielding’s not planning to stick around town, then what the hell am I doing here?

50. Maddie

Chapter 50

Maddie

I take my seat on the plane and pull my hat down lower, desperate for privacy as I continue to cry.

The tears haven’t stopped flowing since I closed his bedroom door.

Everything about leaving Dempsey was harder than I expected. I can’t explain my compulsion to sob, even as I run through all the logical factors of the situation in my mind.

He can’t leave. I can’t stay.

Any compromise would end with one of us miserable.

Any compromise would ultimately be our demise.

I thought I was in control when I kissed him goodbye this morning. I thought I’d feel empowered when I walked away from my summer fling and stepped forward into the future I’ve always dreamed of.

But I can still taste the tears that silently tracked down his cheeks when I leaned in to give him one final kiss. And every part of my body is in a state of cranked-up awareness, adrenaline blasting through me and urging me to go back.

It hurts because he was my first. Not my actual first, but he was my first real anything.

My stupid heart keeps coming up with questions I can’t answer. What if Dempsey was my first real love, and he’s also supposed to be my last? What if we were meant for more than just one summer? What if he was it?

I have to believe we made the most reasonable choices for our futures.

I have to believe that even though this hurts like hell, a different ending would have hurt worse. Giving up my dreams isn’t an option. Neither is breaking his bond with his brother.

We gave each other everything we could offer when it was ours to give. And now it’s time to move on.

I wipe my nose on the cuff of my sweatshirt as I try to gain some form of composure. People are going to start whispering about the weird crying emo girl in seat 3A if I don’t. I can’t even force a smile or pretend I’m fine—my only hope is that this feeling will start to fade the moment we touch down in California.

51. Dempsey

Chapter 51

Dempsey