So I lay a hand on Ivennie’s shoulder. The act still feels odd to me after all these years, too familiar given we’ve only known each other for a few weeks. But the new recruit leans into my hand despite her earlier anxiety, relief crossing her face. All of the Titans complain about being touch-starved after basic training.

“You don’t need to be so formal with me. Here, we’re”—the next words stick in my throat, as they always do, but I finish the phrase I learned from the general—“a family.”

She stares up at me with wide eyes. I can’t bring myself to force a smile, but I give her an encouraging nod. Family. That’s what we’re supposed to say, anyway. Altair taught me that physical touch is so deeply ingrained in Titan culture that they don’t bother trying to stamp it out in the military. He said it’s good for them to feel that closeness, when many of them have lost their blood relations to the war. But I suspect he knows the truth: that nobody would fight as long or as hard as we do without something to care about, even if that something is a lie.

I step past the still-blushing new recruit into the dim underground hallway. As much as I’ve tried to make myself believe it these last few years, and as much as I’ve grown to care about them, I’ve always known deep down that my team could never truly be family. I already have one waiting for me—a family bound together by blood.

Titans, who often grow up in large, blended families with multiple sets of parents to fill in any gaps left by the war, don’t place much value in blood. But I wasn’t raised as a Titan. I still remember the time I dared to ask about who my father was at dinner, and the taste of copper in my mouth after Momma hit me—one of the few times she raised a hand against me. My siblings were just as shocked as I was. “You have no fathers,” she told us in the silence, using that tone of hers that brooked no argument. “Forget about them. Forget your birth-planets, too. The blood you share is the only thing that matters. No one outside this room is ever going to accept any of you, so you need to look out for each other.”

I shake off the memory. The past has been haunting me far too often these days, and the distraction could get me killed out here.