Regardless of the nightmare, I wake up with a scream building in my throat more often than not. As the days go on, my reflection grows more haunted and haggard. Shadows pool beneath my bloodshot eyes and in the hollows of my cheeks, and my beard grows bristly and unkempt. I should take care of myself more. I should take care of my siblings, be strong for them. But I can’t. Not anymore. I’ve lost too much.

When I left the army, I felt cracks forming beneath my surface. Now, I fear that I’m on the verge of breaking. And this would be a terrible time to shatter.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

The Golden City

Scorpia

I squint at the mirror in my palm, an eyeliner pencil trembling in my other hand. No matter how hard I try, I never seem to get this shit right. Devans make it look easy, but this is the only place where I bother with cosmetics, and I’ve never been fond of them.

If we were traveling to one of the small villages nestled in the Devan jungle, our usual planet-side getup would work just fine. But we’re not traveling to some simple little village barely keeping the plants at bay; we’re headed to Zi Vi, the Golden City, Deva’s capital and crown jewel. In a city where appearances are everything, the only way to blend in is to look like we’re trying as hard as everyone else to stand out.

“Lyre!” I call out across the cargo bay, lowering the pencil. “Help me out, will you?”

“Busy.” I glance over to find her standing on her tiptoes, preoccupied with painting Drom’s eyes and lips. “Drom, stop fidgeting.”

“I will when you stop poking me in the fucking eye.”

I sigh and glance over at Corvus. He’s barely spoken to me, or any of us, on the trip from Titan, though I’ve heard him crying out in his sleep. I wasn’t sure what to expect from him today, but he seems as ready to go as the rest of us. He’s already adorned his eyes with dramatic black rings and contoured his cheeks with sharp lines of glittering highlighter. Rather than making him look ridiculous, as it rightfully should, it suits his glower. Of course he’s as good at this as he is at everything else, and here I am struggling to line my eyes. I take some petty satisfaction in the fact that his beard is still unkempt and his clothes don’t sit quite right on his shoulders anymore. He looks deeply uncomfortable in his Devan outfit, which exposes a generous amount of his stomach.