As much as it tears at me, I can understand what she’s saying.

“This still doesn’t explain why you’re upset with me.”

“I’m mad because…” Lyre cuts off in a hollow laugh. “Because you coming back made me the odd one out again. The twins always had each other, and you and Scorpia were even closer than the two of them,” she says. “And then there was me. Alone.”

I’m immediately ready to argue, but stop myself. I think back to years past, to memories of Lyre holed up with a book or sleeping in the engine room.

“It always seemed like you preferred to be alone.”

“Because the twins treated me like a naggy older sister, and you and Scorpia treated me like I was a child.” Her eyes dart up to me before dropping again. “And that’s when anybody noticed me at all. Most of the time, I might as well have been a ghost.” She twists her fingers together. “And just as well, I suppose. I never really fit in with the rest of you.” She swallows, and then more words rush out, faster and faster. “Momma always knew it, too. Do you know how many times she tried to get me to stay behind on Deva? She said I would do well there, said I… I wasn’t stuck on the ship like Scorpia. I knew she was trying to get rid of me. And nothing I ever did was enough to prove I belonged here.”

I stare at her while she struggles not to let more tears overflow. I’m not sure how I never noticed she felt like this. Lyre was always aloof, but I thought it was because she wasn’t as horribly codependent as me and Scorpia or the twins. Now, I think of all the times I found her curled up on the engine room floor with a blanket and a pillow, and my heart aches.

“You must think of me as the weakest link,” she says, and I shake my head, finally finding words.

“You always seemed like the strongest of us, Lyre. The one who didn’t need me.”

“I tried to be you when you were gone,” Lyre continues, like she didn’t hear me. “I tried to take care of everybody. But nobody listens to me unless I trick them into it somehow. So all I did was make them hate me. It’s not fair, they loved you. Everyone loves you so damn much. Even Momma did, and she hardly loved anyone.”