“And why should we?” I shove him with my free hand. It barely moves him, which only makes me more furious. “Why should any of us ever trust you again with how you’ve been acting? After you left us to fight in that stupid fucking war?” I’m tired of dancing around this issue, especially if he has the nerve to argue morality with me. “I’m sure you’ve managed to convince yourself that was some noble thing to do. You must be so pleased with yourself. You made Momma proud, and who gives a shit how much it hurt anyone else, right?”

I expect Corvus to be angry at my words, maybe even wounded, but instead his expression wrinkles in pure confusion.

“What?” he asks. “What did you just say?”

“You left.” My voice rises, as if that will drive the point home. My chest aches. I want to see him angry, to see him hurt. But he just stares, silent, his brow creased. It makes the bitterness swell until my eyes burn and my voice shakes. The words tumble out before I can finish thinking them. “We… we were supposed to take care of each other. You knew I needed you. And you left. You left me, Corvus. And you didn’t even leave a fucking note!”

A wave of tears comes along with the words, and I force myself to stop, raising a hand to my eyes as if I can hide it. I suck in a breath that trembles in my throat on the way out.

“You…” He starts, and pauses. He takes a deep breath. “You think I left because I wanted to?” There’s a tinge of uncertainty, almost of hurt, but a moment later his face clears. “Momma said I left because I wanted to fight in the war,” he says, as if explaining something to himself.

“… What? You wanted to… to fight for your planet. To keep your citizenship.” My eyebrows knit together. “You wanted to do the right thing, the honorable thing. Try to be a hero on your home-world. You wanted…” I trail off, my mouth going dry.

Corvus raises a hand and rakes his hair back from his face. His mouth opens and closes twice before he speaks.

“All this time I wondered how you could’ve left me there,” he says, his voice very quiet. “How not a single one of you would’ve rebelled against her decision. How you would have accepted it.”