Scorpia finds me in a metal chair beside the cryosleep chamber, my head in my hands. I sit up as I notice her come in, trying to regain some sense of dignity. I can’t let my family see me like this. They’ll need someone to be strong—and I’ve always been the strong one. If they see that this has broken me, the rest of them will crumple, too.

She’s still dressed in her contamination suit. When she sees that I’ve already shed mine—after scrubbing the cargo bay and medical room as thoroughly as I could manage—she takes off her helmet and takes a deep breath of sanitized air. Her eyes are red-rimmed, and the moment she’s free of her suit, she pulls a flask from her pocket and takes a long swig. As she lowers it, she finally seems to notice the cryosleep chamber—really notice it.

“Oh, shit,” she says, and rubs a hand across her face as if trying to wipe something off. “I forgot we had that thing. Is he… did you…?”

“Yes.”

Scorpia takes a deep breath and drops her hands to her side.

“Stars, Corvus,” she says, the relief evident on her face. “You…”

“Don’t.” I can’t handle gratitude right now, not when we both know how much of a long shot it is that he’ll ever come back.

She lets out a shaky breath and takes another swig from her flask.

“Okay,” she says. “Guess we need to talk about what comes next. I punched in the coordinates for Gaia, but I wasn’t sure where we’re headed.”

I can’t handle that right now, either. I’m not sure I can handle anything at all after how much I’ve lost. I’m numb for the moment, but I can feel the grief hovering over me, waiting to crash down in a wave that’s certain to drown me. It’s impossible to think about how to move forward when I’m still struggling with the weight of everything left behind.

“We need to do whatever we can for Pol,” I say, because that much is obvious even through my haze of grief. “That comes first. The longer he’s under, the harder it will be to wake him up.”

“Right. Yeah.” Scorpia livens up at that and begins to pace the small room. “Well… that thing came from Gaia. Maybe it’s not a bad idea to start there.”

Gaia. During all of this, I had almost forgotten that the weapon Momma was selling came from there. Directly from the president, as I recall. This wasn’t just some weapons deal; it was an interplanetary agreement.