By the time I make my way back to the Blackbird, I’m numb with cold and desperately in need of a drink. I was so close today. So damn close to everything I ever wanted. Five hundred thousand credits would have given me a chance to seize leadership, a way to take care of my younger siblings. The deal was done, and still I managed to screw things up. Now I have nothing. I’m completely at the mercy of whatever Momma—and soon, Corvus—decides to do with me and my siblings. After seeing who he’s become, I have no doubt Corvus will lead us down the same path Momma always has, if not a worse one. So much for our dreams of a better future.

Then again, maybe this is for the better. Maybe this deal proved that I’m not cut out to lead this family after all. I had myself so convinced that I was the right person for the job, that I deserved it, but now I’m starting to see the weakness in myself that Momma must have always sensed. Corvus never would have given into his conscience like that. He would have done whatever it took. Hell, Corvus survived three years in Titan’s war. If I was in his shoes, my damn conscience would have gotten me killed the first time I had to pull the trigger.

And now I have to face Momma and deal with the consequences of stealing that vial. I’ve already spun a lie that I hope will convince her, a rambling tale about getting hostile vibes from General Altair and securing one of the vials in case the deal went south. I doubt it will be enough to satisfy her, but then again, nothing I do ever is. I would’ve bolstered my courage on the way over, except that I’m so broke I can’t even afford a stars-damned drink. Five hundred thousand credits… why the fuck did I just throw that away?

The moment I step into the bar on the first floor, I’m immediately distracted by the clink of ice on glass, the sharp smell of alcohol, the happy drunken singing from a group of soldiers in the corner. When the man closest to me takes a long swig of whiskey, I imagine the liquor sliding down my own throat and swallow hard, almost tasting it. The hole in my chest yawns wide, filling me with want.