Ingrid cast her eyes downwards then looked back at me. I could see tears glistening in her eyes as she chewed on her bottom lip.

‘Please, it’s very important that I get this story. Can I level with you? Woman to woman. My editor has told me that I can’t come back to the office without a story. My job depends on it.’

‘I’m very sorry for you, Ms Devlin. But if I were you, I’d question whether or not I really wanted a job that made me act in such an unscrupulous fashion. I wish you a good evening.’

She had the good grace to look defeated then. She fished around in her bag and pulled out a business card, which she handed to me.

‘Mrs O’Loughlin, I’m going to park my car on the main road. Outside your property. I’m going to wait there and give you time to think about things. If you decide to talk to me, and I really, truly hope that you do, my number’s on that card. Just call me and I’ll come up to the yard. I can assure you I’m not unscrupulous, at all. I just want to do a good job and get the real story out.’

‘Good evening, Ms Devlin,’ I said and closed the door firmly.

I peered through the peephole again until I saw her turn and walk back down the yard to the road, which is when I allowed myself to have a cry.

All I wanted to do was to turn the clock back and not have gone for that blasted walk at all. Or, better still, turn the clock back two years and save my daughter. I was struggling to cope; I could feel anxiety building up inside me. Why couldn’t people just leave me the hell alone? I just wanted to live my life out here in peace and quiet.

The stress was causing my body to react, my muscles to stiffen, my head to hurt. My bad arm ached and I rubbed it, hoping it would ease some of the pain.

Even though it was still early, I locked every door in the house and climbed the stairs. From my bedroom window I could see Ingrid Devlin’s car parked on the road. She could wait there till Christmas for all I cared. There was no way on earth I was going to talk to her about what horrors I’d seen.

I pulled the curtains across, barely making an impact on the streaming evening light, climbed into bed then hoped against hope that I’d fall asleep and that it would be dreamless.