‘Every week’s tough, Elizabeth,’ he said quietly. ‘I thought it would be getting easier by now, but it’s not.’

‘I know,’ I told him, but my words felt inadequate. ‘We just have to focus on the kids. For her.’

He nodded. ‘We do. Which is why I need to go and get some food or they’ll be living on cereal for the next week.’

He gave me a lopsided smile – a smile that lied and said everything was normal when it wasn’t.

‘You’re a great dad,’ I told him. ‘And a good friend to me. I’m not sure I’d have got through this last two years and everything that’s happened without you. Don’t ever be afraid to ask me to help more if you need it.’

‘I won’t,’ he said and he stood up, hugged me awkwardly. ‘Thanks, Elizabeth. Right, kids, I’ll be back in a couple of hours. Be good for your granny.’

‘We will!’ the children chorused, and he left.

I wished, again, that I could take his pain away. I felt such guilt for letting him down, too. The man who’d promised to love her. Who did love her. He’d made her smile from the moment they’d met. She hadn’t long turned thirty and even though thirty is no age at all these days, she’d been convinced she would end up on the shelf. Resigned herself to it. But then she came home from after work drinks one night with that special kind of a smile on her face – one I’d recognised from my own face when I’d met Paddy, and her life had changed.

She finally found happiness.

Or so I thought. Even his love and faith in her wasn’t enough to save her.

If I’d been a better mother, maybe he’d still have his wife by his side. Maybe he wouldn’t look so tired all the time. I vowed to insist on having the children more and to visit them more. Anything to lift the burden from him. I didn’t want them to lose someone else. I vowed to be extra cautious.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Rachel

‘You don’t really think my husband could have anything to do with this?’ I stuttered, knowing what their answer was before I asked.

‘We’re not saying anything like that,’ DI Bradley said. ‘But we will need to ask him a few questions, just to clear up a few things. I’m assuming by your reaction that you didn’t know that he’d met with Clare on that evening?’