But I kept thinking of the picture, the score marks, the circle drawn around my face. Those words. The truth was, I was as scared as my girls were. I pushed down my emotions, told the children I needed to get a shower and that they could order anything they wanted from room service.

While they discussed what the menu had to offer, I locked myself in the bathroom, stuffed a towel into my mouth then screamed and cried as if my heart were breaking.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Elizabeth

Maybe the photos had been gone a while. I tried to think of the last time I’d looked through them. It had been months, if not longer, but I knew the last time I’d looked they were still there. I’d have noticed if any had gone.

I shivered, despite the heat, a feeling of foreboding washing over me.

There was one possibility I didn’t even want to think about.

I pushed it away. Told myself that it was impossible. There had to be a more logical explanation – the events of the last week had instilled an unnecessary level of fear and paranoia in me.

I set about locking up the house, making sure every window and every door was bolted and double bolted. Windows and doors I may not always have made sure to secure before, because I’d felt secure enough in my own home – in this secluded corner of the world – that I never imagined anyone would ever want to gain entry through. To try to come in.

I wasn’t one for drinking, but my nerves were sufficiently rattled to prompt me to pour a measure of Jameson Irish whiskey, from a bottle that once belonged to Paddy. It was so old I wasn’t even sure if it was still drinkable, but I sipped from it anyway. Feeling its warmth slide down my throat to my stomach, I grimaced at the taste, but if it helped me to relax that had to be a good thing.

Izzy looked up at me as if I’d lost the run of myself, drinking alcohol, pulling faces, talking to myself.

‘Don’t you judge,’ I chided her, only to be rewarded by the saddest puppy-dog stare in return. ‘I’m sorry,’ I immediately replied, bending down to pet her and ruffle her fur. ‘I’m the worst company in the world right now.’

She curled her body into mine and I lowered my aching bones down onto the floor to enjoy the warmth of her beside me – the non-judgemental nature of her very being, as if there was nothing in the world I could do to disappoint her. If only it were so easy with humans.