Michael shrugged. ‘I don’t think it’s hypocritical. You’re allowed to be hurt. But would you be devastated? Do you, given everything, envisage yourself staying with him in the long term?’

This was a loaded question, of course – whatever answer I gave would have ramifications for Michael and me.

‘I’m not sure what I think,’ I told him.

He shifted in his seat as if my answer annoyed him.

‘It’s like there’s so much going on in my brain at the moment – so much that I’m trying to process – that I don’t know … my brain can’t work anything out. I know we’re broken,’ I said, raising my eyes to his again. ‘Paul and me. I know that there’s probably no coming back from this, but my brain’s too full of what’s happened to Clare, wanting the police to catch her killer, wanting to get her body released and her home to her family … My brain’s just so full of that to know how I truly feel about anything else.’

He sighed, looked downwards, brushing back a curl that had fallen across his forehead. ‘I’m sorry. I know I’m expecting too much from you at the moment. I’m being selfish. The last thing I want to do is to cause you any more upset and stress. What we have is good, and it’s fun and pure – I don’t want it to make your life tougher.’

I reached out and took his hand, turned it over in mine and bent forwards, kissing the heel of his palm gently, breathing in his scent. ‘It’s not you who makes my life tougher,’ I told him. ‘You’re the good thing. You’re the positive.’

He put his hand to my cheek and I revelled in the feeling of it against my skin, closing my eyes to breathe him in. I felt the gentlest touch of his lips on mine and I was lost to him.

‘It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way about anyone,’ he said. ‘If ever.’

My phone rang, a Nineties dance tune jerking us from the intimacy of the moment. Julie was calling me. I grimaced at my phone where it sat with my car keys. I didn’t want this interruption. Michael looked at it, then at me.

‘It’s Julie. You should answer. I imagine she needs you a lot right now.’

I knew he was right, so I answered to hear her, almost hysterical, on the other end of the line.

‘Rachel, have you seen the news? Brendan showed me. It’s in the paper … It says that someone slit Clare’s throat so deep they almost cut her head off …’

At that I could hear her start to hyperventilate.

‘Rachel …’ she gulped. ‘Is … that … true? Did someone do that? Is that what … happened? Rachel!’