Julie had been silent on the drive back to hers. I’d been grateful for it. There wasn’t much we could say to each other. We both knew how awful this was.

But when I’d picked Molly up, I’d plastered on a wide smile and pulled her into a hug that was probably a little tighter than it should have been.

‘Why are you hugging me so tightly? Mammy! You’re hurting me!’

I loosened my grip and she squirmed away from me. I wanted to pull her back into my arms, but I didn’t. I thought of Mrs Taylor, though – all the times she must have held Clare to her and never imagined that this was how things would turn out.

How could anyone have imagined this?

Beth was already home when I opened the door. If I wasn’t mistaken, I could smell the makings of a bolognese on the hob.

My eldest daughter walked into the hall to greet me. Still in her pyjamas, her eyes still red, it was clear she was still hurting. All I wanted to do was protect her.

‘I’ve put some dinner on,’ she said, shrugging in that awkward way teenagers do.

I knew she was trying to make life easier for me and I loved her so much for it. I pulled her into a hug. The same tight hug I’d given her little sister before. Beth didn’t wriggle away, though; she just hugged me harder.

‘I love you,’ I whispered.

‘I love you too, Mum,’ she answered, without a hint of her usual teenage sarcasm.

When we pulled apart, she took Molly into the living room to put the TV on for her while I walked through the kitchen to check on dinner. A bouquet of flowers, in hues of red and purple, sat in a vase on the table.

‘Beth? Where did these flowers come from?’

Beth popped her head out of the door. ‘They were delivered earlier. I meant to text you. They’re from your work, I think.’

I was touched by the gesture of my colleagues. I walked to the table and lifted the little white envelope from the arrangement. Opening it, I saw a message that made my heart soar then sink in quick succession:

Thinking of you at this difficult time

All our love,

Michelle and all your colleagues at NWRC

‘Michelle’ – I knew immediately the flowers were from Michael. It was a nice gesture but a risky one. I knew he was just reaching out and after what we’d done the night before, I knew that things had shifted between us. But this was outside of my comfort zone. Paul would never have heard me talk about a ‘Michelle’, either in my day job or at my nightclasses. He’d wonder why ‘she’ put her name specifically on the card. He could ask questions. Get suspicious.