My leg had been broken during the attack. Doctors couldn’t understand how I’d been able to run on it, except that adrenaline must have pushed me on. A cracked rib, torn ligaments in my arm, a fractured eye socket, and cuts to my feet and head. I’d been patched up. Stitched back together. Given a headscarf to wear to cover the areas where he’d cut my hair so short he’d slit my skin.

My face was still swollen. I was still in pain. I still didn’t want to be left alone. Still needed the light on at all times. Was afraid to sleep. Was still so very angry with myself for falling for him. For putting my family and myself in such danger. But I couldn’t have known.

Could I?

Paul had taken the news of my affair better than I could have hoped, but I feared it was just a knee-jerk reaction to the trauma we’d been through. The need we had for things to be okay at that moment. When things calmed down, I knew we’d still have to deal with the massive issues in our marriage. We’d let each other down so badly and broken the trust we’d once shared.

He didn’t look at me the same now, nor, if I’m honest, did I at him. It was as though everything had changed. I didn’t know if we’d ever get what we once had back. We’d have to be honest with each other. More than we’d ever been before. We’d already talked about seeing a counsellor and he’d agreed to give up his Belfast flat, stay closer to home.

He’d brought the girls to see me the day after I’d been admitted. Molly had been too frightened to come close to me. She told me I looked scary. It had broken my heart to see her tremble at the sight of me, but I knew I had to give her space. She’d come round. At least I had the chance for her to come round. The ache I felt when I thought that I may never have seen her or her sister again was worse than any physical pain I was experiencing.

Beth had held my hand and wept. She’d told me she loved me. Promised she’d do whatever she could around the house until I was fully recovered. It may sound strange, but even as she spoke I already hoped for the day when she’d stomp upstairs and refuse to wash the dishes. Then I’d know things were back on track. That we’d come through this.