‘Pride’s a sin,’ he said and crossed the room to his rucksack, my hair still twisted around his fist so I was forced to move with him, bent and crooked, the back of my head burning as the hair was torn out by the follicles.

He pulled out a knife and I tried, I tried so hard, with every bit of me, to pull away.

‘It’s worse when you fight, you know. Clare found that out the hard way.’

‘Please,’ I begged. ‘Please don’t do this!’

He brought the tip of the knife close to my face, touched the flat of the blade against my cheek.

‘All you ever had to do was be nice, Rachel. That’s all it would have taken.’

I was crying, shaking. I was sure my legs would give out from under me. Sure I’d lose control of my bladder. Not that it mattered now. I was aware of how very slowly he drew the knife, still flat, still blunt, around my neck. The image Ronan had painted of Clare – grey, translucent, blood drained from her – jumped into my head. I heard his sharp intake of breath, closed my eyes and let all hope drift away.

I felt the tug of his hand on my hair and then the sensation of lightness, of a release of pressure. The sound of sawing. Through my hair. Cutting it short. Hacking at it until I fell to the ground.

‘You’re not so attractive now, are you?’ he said. ‘Maybe I should take a picture. See how you feel about people seeing you at your worst and judging you. See how you like it.’

I could feel a trickle of blood running down my neck. Strands of hair fell in front of my eyes. I looked at my hands, which were planted firmly on the ground in front of me, stopping me from falling further. They were dirty and bruised. My nails broken. I knew I looked monstrous. Bloodied and broken. I turned my head towards him, looked up to where he stood above me, staring down as if I were shit on the bottom of his shoe.

‘Why are you doing this?’ I sobbed. ‘What did I ever do to you? What did Clare ever do? Or Julie?’

‘You took my family away from me,’ he said. ‘And doing this? Well, this is the only chance I’ve got at getting them back.’

‘I took your family away? I don’t even know your family.’ I was confused, wondered if I was losing my mind. I just wanted all this to end. ‘I’ve never intentionally hurt anyone. Nor did Clare, or Julie …’

‘You remember Laura, don’t you?’ he said, wiping the knife on the side of his trousers.

‘Laura O’Loughlin,’ I said. ‘From school.’

‘This school,’ he said, looking around him. ‘Did you know she killed herself?’ he asked, his voice soft.