We’d play in the yard after, Max and I. Throwing balls for Izzy to chase. Getting the hose out in the warmer weather and watching Izzy run through the cold spray. Slowly, tentatively at first, Ava started to join in. Eventually, we started to hear little bursts of laughter again.

I needed to hear it that day, of all days. I suppose I also needed to see my daughter’s own eyes, her mannerisms, her reflection in their faces. That kept her alive for me.

I’d baked banana bread, wiped the sweat from my brow after I set the bread to cool on the windowsill. I’d prepared a ‘party tea’, as the children would call it. Crisps and sandwiches, biscuits and chopped fruit. Fizzy drinks to wash it down with. I’d filled the small paddling pool with water. The kids were too big to sit in it now, but they could play with Izzy.

I’d even gone out and bought the largest tub of ice cream I could find and had it waiting in the freezer. There would be jelly and chocolate sauce to go with it.

It was overcompensating. I knew that. But I needed to do something to make myself feel better. This would help, a little.

I’d been on edge all day waiting for them. For once, time to myself didn’t seem to be a good thing. It gave me too much time to think. As soon as the clock turned three and I knew they’d be finished at school, I felt my mood start to improve. They’d be with me soon. I looked at the photograph of Laura on the mantlepiece and I apologised for letting her down. Again.

The ticking of the clock and the occasional whimper from Izzy as she dreamed of chasing a ball or a rabbit were the only noises that interrupted the silence, so I jumped when the phone rang. It was too loud, or my head was too full, or something just wasn’t right, and I wanted the noise to stop.

The name flashing on the screen was Ingrid Devlin’s. I wondered whether or not to answer. I didn’t feel I had anything else to say to her, even though she’d stuck to her word and not reported anything overly salacious about Laura. I didn’t want to get any further on the wrong side of the police and they clearly didn’t want me talking to her, but I couldn’t resist answering.

‘Elizabeth,’ Ingrid began. ‘Look, I promised I’d keep you in the loop if I heard anything at all and I just wanted to fill you in on something my source has told me.’

I wanted to know, but at the same time was afraid of what she might tell me.

‘Do I need to sit down to hear this?’ I asked.