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Contents (64)
  1. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  2. PROLOGUE HIM
  3. CHAPTER ONE AUDREY
  4. CHAPTER TWO CAT
  5. CHAPTER THREE AUDREY
  6. CHAPTER FOUR CAT
  7. CHAPTER FIVE AUDREY
  8. CHAPTER SIX CAT
  9. CHAPTER SEVEN HIM
  10. CHAPTER EIGHT AUDREY
  11. CHAPTER NINE AUDREY
  12. CHAPTER TEN HIM
  13. CHAPTER ELEVEN CAT
  14. CHAPTER TWELVE AUDREY
  15. CHAPTER THIRTEEN HIM
  16. CHAPTER FOURTEEN AUDREY
  17. CHAPTER FIFTEEN HIM
  18. CHAPTER SIXTEEN CAT
  19. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN AUDREY
  20. CHAPTER EIGHTEEN CAT
  21. CHAPTER NINETEEN HIM
  22. CHAPTER TWENTY AUDREY
  23. CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE CAT
  24. CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO AUDREY
  25. CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE AUDREY
  26. CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR HIM
  27. CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE CAT
  28. CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX AUDREY
  29. CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN HIM
  30. CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT CAT
  31. CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE HIM
  32. CHAPTER THIRTY AUDREY
  33. CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE CAT
  34. CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO AUDREY
  35. CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE AUDREY
  36. CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR AUDREY
  37. CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE CAT
  38. CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX AUDREY
  39. CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN AUDREY
  40. CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT HIM
  41. CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE CAT
  42. CHAPTER FORTY AUDREY
  43. CHAPTER FORTY-ONE HIM
  44. CHAPTER FORTY-TWO AUDREY
  45. CHAPTER FORTY-THREE AUDREY
  46. CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR CAT
  47. CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE HIM
  48. CHAPTER FORTY-SIX AUDREY
  49. CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN AUDREY
  50. CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT HIM
  51. CHAPTER FORTY-NINE AUDREY
  52. CHAPTER FIFTY CAT
  53. CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE AUDREY
  54. CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO CAT
  55. CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE AUDREY
  56. CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR HIM
  57. CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE CAT
  58. CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX AUDREY
  59. CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN MAX
  60. CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT CAT
  61. CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE AUDREY
  62. CHAPTER SIXTY MAX
  63. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  64. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

PATHETIC, I CHASTISED MYSELF. Utterly pathetic. It’s no wonder Audrey isn’t yours. You don’t deserve to even tread the same ground as her.

I punched my fist into my thigh, hard enough to make myself wince. This couldn’t be who I was. In all other aspects of my life, I was more than competent: I had a decent job with benefits and a healthy 401(k); I maintained a carefully researched program of running and lifting weights; I laundered my sheets and towels with regularity. But where a woman—where Audrey—was concerned, I morphed into an embarrassing, irredeemable mess. I couldn’t do anything right, couldn’t even pull off sending flowers without turning it into an international incident.

Pathetic.

Oh, but she had loved those flowers. Seeing her smell them, lightly touching the blooms with a pleased smile, had been worth it. I was glad I had insisted upon the completely orange bouquet. The florist had urged me against it, had suggested I add in some different colors “for interest,” but I had held firm. I wanted Audrey to know I knew her favorite color. I wanted her to know that I understood her.

And then I had gone and screwed it all up.

Stupid, pathetic idiot, I thought, punching myself again, harder. No wonder you’re alone.

As my thigh throbbed, I realized that wasn’t true. I wasn’t alone. I had the Overexposed forums. The men there had never let me down; they’d been there for me as I agonized over Sabrina, Aly, and the other women I’d used as substitutes for Audrey. They would help me.

I grabbed my laptop and logged into the forums, but then hesitated, unsure where to post. Like dozens of other top-tier bloggers and social media influencers, Audrey had her own thread. I’d visited it on occasion and always regretted it. None of the men who posted there truly understood Audrey or even wanted to. All they wanted to do was share screen-captured images with disgusting, filthy captions and upload pictures they’d created by pasting Audrey’s face onto the bodies of various adult actresses.

Her dedicated thread would be the absolute worst place to post, and so instead I clicked through to the Relationships subforum within the Off-Topic forum, the same place where I had written about Sabrina and Aly. There, I posted a lengthy confessional about where things stood and what I had done. Instantly, I felt lighter. Help would come.

I read the comments as they began appearing. Some encouraged me; some gently ribbed me for being such a disastrous fool about the whole thing. Okay, I thought, nodding. I deserved that. But as the comments continued to pile up without a single actionable suggestion, I began to get frustrated. Where was the help I needed? The help I was counting on?

I was about to close my laptop when I received a direct message from a user calling himself pm-me-nudes:

Hey bro. Saw your post, thought you might find this interesting. https://www.objectofaffection.com/vip-forums/2017041825 You have to be VIP to see it. If you’re not already registered as a VIP, click here: https://www.objectofaffection.com/vip-forums/register and use my invite code: pm-me-nudes-inviteARQ573. Good luck.