‘Louise is my middle name, and Murphy my maiden name, so it’s not really fake, and considering you’re refusing to answer my calls, I had to be creative.’ I gestured to the basket I’d put on his desk in a hope to defuse his anger. ‘Do you want some lunch while we talk? I bought orange juice and made BLTs. There’s also some caramel slice in there.’

Adrian stared at the basket as if he were stuck between a rock and a hard place—BLTs and caramel slice were his favourites—and I noticed dark bags under his eyes. My stomach dropped as I wondered if they were down to tiredness—too many late nights out with other women.

My intervention had clearly come not a moment too soon.

‘I don’t know what we’ve got to talk about,’ he said, dragging his eyes from the basket.

I sighed, lifting the lid of the basket and laying a sandwich wrapped in wax paper in front of him. ‘I think we need to set up some kind of regular communication so we can discuss any issues with the kids. And if one of them tells you they need something, you need to follow through.’

‘What are you talking about? What haven’t I done? They’ve eaten, Payton’s done her spelling, Saxon’s still a stellar student and I’ve kept the house clean!’

I refrained from mentioning the cleaner. If I knew one thing about marriage it was that it paid to pick your battles. Right now, my primary concern was looking out for the kids and hopefully not alienating Adrian even more in the process.

‘I’ll admit you’re doing well with the big picture, but it’s the little things I’m talking about. Saxon’s room is a pigsty; there were dirty clothes all over the floor—’

‘His room is his domain,’ Adrian interjected. ‘When it gets too bad, he’ll clean it. You’ve mollycoddled the kids too much, Ashling. They need to learn a bit of independence and that’s what I’m teaching them.’

Mollycoddled? I was about to tell him exactly what I thought of that but managed to swallow the words at the last moment. I wasn’t here to fight.

‘Maybe,’ I said instead, ‘but Sax asked you to buy him deodorant and you haven’t, so it’s not just his room that stinks, but also him! Do you want him to get teased because he’s walking around with bad BO?’

Adrian leaned back in his chair and gestured at the spread I’d laid out on his desk. ‘This is about deodorant? You’re really clutching at straws.’

‘It’s not just about deodorant and toilet paper,’ I said, not wanting him to think I was that desperate to see him. ‘Toilet paper?’