‘No,’ I said firmly, holding out my hand for my phone. ‘Sex might be how you avoid dealing with emotions, but I love my husband and I don’t want any other man.’ I wouldn’t even know what to do with one. Adrian was the only guy I’d ever slept with. ‘I simply want to get him back and unless you have any ideas about how I can go about doing that, then I don’t want your suggestions.’

Hayley and I eyed each other a few long moments and the hurt I saw looking back at me squeezed my heart. ‘I’m sorry, that was uncalled for, but—’

‘It’s okay.’ She shrugged. ‘Maybe I do use sex to fill some kind of hole inside me and maybe that’s not the best strategy for you, but can I make one less tawdry suggestion?’

‘Go on.’ My breath stalled as I waited for her to speak.

‘Why don’t you get a job?’

‘What?’ I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. ‘I haven’t had a job in fifteen years. What on earth would I do? The market is bloody tough, and I’m not qualified for anything.’

‘What do you call the office work you do in the clinic?’

I shrugged. ‘An unpaid labour of love?’ For as long as I could remember I’d been filling in for Adrian if a receptionist was sick or on holidays.

‘Don’t undersell yourself, Ash. There are lots of things you could do—you could get a job in someone else’s office. Or why not try a bookshop? You love books.’

‘I haven’t had time to read in years.’

But Hayley wasn’t going to be put off. She glanced around at my rigidly organised belongings. ‘You could start your own cleaning business and choose your own hours. You could even sell Tupperware or something—Lord knows you have enough.’

I poked my tongue out at her. ‘I’d be hopeless at selling stuff.’

But she refused to be stymied. ‘Nonsense. You’re such a people person—you could hit up all the kids’ friends’ parents. And, direct selling could easily work on the weeks you have the kids as well as when you don’t.’

I couldn’t garner excitement for any of her suggestions, and the fact she talked like this separation would become permanent irritated me.

I opened my mouth to tell her to leave me be when she added, ‘Have you forgotten your degree in journalism? Maybe it’s finally time to put all those years of study to use.’

‘It’s almost two decades old.’

I’d found myself pregnant a couple of months before I’d graduated and by the time I’d realised that baby was never going to be, I’d already been playing receptionist for Adrian. I’d meant to pursue my own career once the clinic was established, but somehow life had got in the way.

‘So what?’ said Hayley.

‘So, I haven’t written anything except emails to teachers, committee minutes, grant applications and shopping lists for as long as I can remember. Articles are a beast of their own and the industry has completely changed in the time I’ve been out of it. No one would ever employ someone with so little experience.’