I couldn’t help noticing his use of the past tense—hey, I could still be funny! However, although I desperately wanted to say something that would prove this point, my mind refused to cooperate. It was trying too hard not to let me cry.

‘Ashling is a great mother—she’s a very organised person and never puts herself first. She created a warm, comfortable home for us all and I really appreciated that.’

I felt myself losing the battle of the tears at his words.

‘And what about you, Ashling?’ Megan asked before I could hit him with a question of my own: If I’m so wonderful, why are we even here?

‘Well …’ I swallowed. ‘Much of the same, I guess. Adrian is very passionate about whatever he gives his heart to—at school that was sport and his studies and me. He made me feel like I was the only girl in the world, and I liked that we could talk about anything.’ I suddenly realised I’d also slipped into past tense. ‘He’s a great dad and a wonderful podiatrist and boss. He really cares about his patients and his employees … which is why I don’t understand why he no longer cares about me.’

‘I do care about you, Ash. You’re the mother of my children, I’ll always care.’

I snorted. ‘You sure have a funny way of showing it!’

‘If I didn’t care about hurting you, I wouldn’t have been so honest. I would have had an affair. I was trying to do the right thing and make this as easy as it could be on all of us.’

‘Adrian,’ Megan said sharply, ‘let’s take a look at your desire to sleep with other women. When did you start having these feelings?’

Part of me wanted to shove my fingers in my ears but the other part of me needed to hear the answer to this question. Just how long had I been living a lie?

‘I don’t know exactly … I guess … maybe since before we got married.’

‘What?’ I barely heard the word as it slipped from my mouth.

‘Oh,’ Megan said. His admission seemed to have taken her by surprise as well. She recovered quickly. ‘If you had doubts back then, what made you go through with the wedding?’

Adrian refused to look at me as he spoke. ‘Ashling and I got engaged because she got pregnant, then when she lost the baby … well, she changed.’

‘I didn’t lose Leo,’ I whispered, no longer trying to fight my tears. ‘We lost him.’ And none of this made any sense because I’d always thought our shared heartbreak had brought us even closer together. Adrian had taken such good care of me during that time. I didn’t know if I’d have got through the loss without him.