“After watching what Tracy was going through, I totally panicked. I had one more year of school to finish and had my sights set on the police academy. With the dyslexia, school was a huge struggle, but I was determined to get that degree because I knew it would help me get promoted. How in the world was I going to fit a baby into that picture? And I had no one who could help me. My mother had run off to Florida with that guy she’d hooked up with, my dad was a mess over what my mother had put him through, Angela had a new job and was dating Spencer; Tracy was struggling to take care of Brooke. I can honestly say it was the only time in my life when I had no idea what to do.”

Nick wiped the tears from her cheeks. “You couldn’t have put the baby up for adoption?”

“My dad was so upset and disappointed with Tracy. Not that he ever expressed that to her, but he talked to me about it. No one even thinks about that anymore because we love Brooke so much, but at the time, it was a big deal.”

“You didn’t want to disappoint him, too.”

“No,” she said, sounding so utterly defeated. “I couldn’t have taken that on top of everything else I was dealing with.”

“So what did you do?”

After a long pause, she said, “I made an appointment at a clinic,” in a voice so soft it was almost a whisper. “I couldn’t see any other way out. I was awake the entire night before with what I thought were stomach pains, but when they examined me before the procedure, they discovered I was miscarrying.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Sam.”

“I was going to kill my baby!” The hysteria he heard in her voice alarmed him. “How can you say I didn’t do anything wrong? My periods were never the same afterward, and then the endometriosis set in a year or so later. It was like my body was punishing me for this awful thing I almost did.” Her voice caught on a sob. “I’m so ashamed, Nick. Even all these years later, I’m still so ashamed.”

Because he didn’t know what else to do, he held her tight against him and let her get it out.

“I cried for two weeks afterward. My sisters took care of me, saw me through the worst of it, but I’ve never told another living soul about that day until right now. I know it’s why I miscarried twice more, and it’s why I can’t have others.”

“How do you figure?”

“I’m being punished for being so willing to toss away the one I didn’t want.”

“Sam, honey, how can you think that?”