He fell in love with Leylani while I watched. When I saw that, I thought: if he can still fall in love, maybe they haven’t made him disappear completely. Maybe there’s still a little bit of Adam in there. I asked Mia, but all she told me in her Zeal-addled state was, “He is the red one, the fair one, the handsome one. He came from the Earth and now he returns. The faces keep changing.” She said it over and over, until it freaked me out enough that I left her in her Zealot hovel.

It wouldn’t surprise me if she did sell me out in the end for more Verve, but I can’t prove it. Never will, now that she’s gone.

I knew it was risky to speak to Vuk, so I didn’t, at first. I kept my ear to the ground, and I heard that the Ratel were looking for lucid dreamers. It seemed too good to be true. No matter how much I tried, though, I didn’t know how to get the Ratel’s attention.

So I spoke to Vuk.

I didn’t tell him I knew who he was. I told him only that I was the best lucid dreamer in the city, and his boss should speak to me at his earliest convenience. He said nothing and left the club early. I thought maybe he’d come back and kill me, and there would go that plan before it had even begun.

Instead, he came back a few nights later, and told me I had to prove it. We plugged into the Zeal Chairs. He’d swapped the drug with Verve without telling me. I followed all his instructions, moving through the dream world, making it do what I wanted. I liked that feeling of power, but I was also terrified of ending up like Mia.

Vuk was the one who got me into the Ratel. I started working for them, and it didn’t take me long to become a dreamsifter in the Verve lounge. I met Ensi. One thing led to another. The closer I kept to him, the sooner I could learn secrets. How had the Ratel found Adam? How was Mana-ma linked to it all?

Eventually, I realized the best way to find out would be to speak to Vuk himself. I was going to get out of the Ratel after I did. Never go back. Go with you to China. Yeah, I knew you had that job before you told me. Saw the letter on the wallscreen at your place while you were in the bathroom. I peeked. Sorry. If I went, I thought I’d change my name, change my face again. I thought it’d be enough. I don’t think it would have been, really. I can be so damn dim sometimes.