We return to the lab. Memories fire in my brain again. They all feature Tila. I have to remember I’m doing this, risking myself, for her.

She’s going to owe me so much when I save her life. She’s going to have to do a lot to make up for all I’ve gone through. As Kim works her magic, I wonder why I’m not angrier at my sister. For all the lies, for what she’s put me through. And though I still don’t fully understand why she decided to go into the Ratel in the first place, I have to believe that she did what she thought was best. For both of us. And I have to finish what she started.

Though she will owe me the truth. All of it.

Afterward, I still feel woozy. My tooth doesn’t feel any different. But it’s there. Third molar from the back on the left-hand side of my mouth. I keep thinking the trigger word, but Kim’s given me some tips to try and push it from my mind unless I need it. She recommends chewing with the other side of my mouth, just in case. And if it breaks by accident, Kim says it won’t harm me. I have to go back and get another one. If I can.

By the door, she pauses, and then gives us both kisses on the cheek. “Safe travels. I’m trusting you two to get the bastard, one way or another. And I know you will.” We walk out of the door. I look at her and Kim smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. Those are dark with remembered grief and anger.

“Taema,” she says. “I still want that drink and chat when this is all over and done with.”

“Yes.” I wonder if I’ll bring my sister. If I’ll be able to. If I’ll want to.

24. Tila

TWENTY-FOUR

TILA

The trial’s going to be soon. My lawyer said so today when he came to visit. He didn’t give me any false hope, so I guess that’s something. It’s better than him saying I actually have a chance of staying unfrozen for longer than a week.

I’ve had this notebook open in my lap for hours, just staring at it. I debated continuing the story, but I figured I should write at least a little about what it feels like to know that I’m about to die.

Well, go into stasis. It’s basically the same thing.